Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (7665)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight over household expenses. He's never had a job in his life, but this didn't stop him demanding that I get another full-time job to pay for video games and beer. FML

#15177236
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (52458)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:21pm - money - by me - United States (Washington)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (45590)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

#20172058
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24949) - you deserved it (1959)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

#19635383
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (1797)

On 05/17/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by secret_source (woman) - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (6442)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (3575)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

#8271296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (3879)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (9693)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (7902)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (44423)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (2045)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: