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Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

#19894898
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (2674)

On 07/05/2012 at 11:46am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (3691)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (4764)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (1595)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24513) - you deserved it (3938)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

#13245354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (3426)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (1796)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24508) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24507) - you deserved it (62592)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

#6688829
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24506) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Melinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24504) - you deserved it (11955)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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