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Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (5095)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard a conversation between a coworker and a new employee. The new girl was trying to get familiar with people's names, and she asked my coworker, "Which one is Heather?" He answered, "The annoying one." She said, "Oh, that's Heather." I'm Heather. FML

#13625422
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21364) - you deserved it (7455)

On 10/28/2010 at 10:19am - work - by kaz89 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (2111)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

#20013635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (1479)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21362) - you deserved it (36412)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (5643)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21357) - you deserved it (1784)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (6361)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I applied for my job, while working at my job. I hope they hire me. FML

#9171908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21353) - you deserved it (5382)

On 03/17/2010 at 10:12pm - work - by TheSuregeon (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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