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Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7504) - you deserved it (15327)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by RIP - United States
Today, I took the family to the Rainforest Café. There was no parking and I detest paying $12 for valet parking. I parked at Wal-Greens across the street in the only spot without a "patrons only, violators will be towed" sign. It was covered by the tree branches. It cost me $225 for the cab and fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (33701)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:24am - money - by fme (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, one of my employees complained of B.O. wafting into his work space. As a joke, I created an anonymous survey online asking everyone if they had showered in the last 30 days, and sent it out. Half of them put "Yes", the other half put a variation of "I can't afford to shower on my salary." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (19251)
On 02/14/2013 at 7:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7498) - you deserved it (21452)
On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7495) - you deserved it (15690)
On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7490) - you deserved it (30966)
On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (49082)
On 07/05/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (24617)
On 09/30/2009 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7484) - you deserved it (92282)
On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7482) - you deserved it (23770)
On 09/09/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by myles bevan - United Kingdom
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7482) - you deserved it (20233)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7482) - you deserved it (20132)
On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7480) - you deserved it (14743)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by thatswhatsup66 - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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