Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

#19797728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2091)

On 06/16/2012 at 4:36pm - misc - by gabby - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (60782)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (37777)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20187) - you deserved it (3660)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (1717)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML

#13953523
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20183) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/23/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20183) - you deserved it (3308)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)

Today, after expressing some of my reservations about the amount of work I have to do to accomplish my thesis on time, my graduate advisor compared my search for knowledge to Tom Hanks' odyssey in the movie "Castaway". FML

#5307387
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:15am - work - by Economess (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (3098)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

#4954327
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20175) - you deserved it (9342)

On 08/31/2009 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by sadinthesack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20173) - you deserved it (3709)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: