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Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2363)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

#6488326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (5950)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met separately with the President and Chairman of the company regarding a product that I'm designing. Each ordered me to do the opposite of whatever the other instructed. FML

#19400552
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (2025)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:10am - work - by beagle1 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21035) - you deserved it (5228)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (11885)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (58933)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21030) - you deserved it (2179)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21029) - you deserved it (35938)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21028) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (2283)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML

#19467160
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (1794)

On 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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