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Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27474) - you deserved it (2240)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (5659)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (1989)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (4139)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, after a little detective work, I found out the money that recently went missing from my college fund was transferred by my mother, to her own account. She claims it's to pay a parking ticket. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I didn't know they fined people over $3,500 for a parking violation. FML

#19618008
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (2044)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27470) - you deserved it (5023)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (2888)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my cousin had moved to Texas. I would have been okay with it, were it not for the fact that not only did I loan him $3,500, but I was supposed to go with him too. FML

#14187285
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (4240)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29am - money - by Reasondon - United States (Michigan)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you deserved it (2340)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (2481)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML

#14065595
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (4747)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (11106)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States



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