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Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while out shopping, I noticed a seedy bum kept following a girl around the store. Trying to be a good samaritan, I trailed them into the street. The bum jogged up behind her and looked like he was about to grab her, so I ran up and tackled him to the ground. Turns out he was her father. FML

#17471186
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25151) - you deserved it (14548)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:31pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML

#18623921
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

#14058874
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (2587)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

#17557632
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (6094)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm - misc - by jarrettsorko - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (6966)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (6070)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25142) - you deserved it (2095)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to an increasingly angry lady that no, she couldn't get an ultrasound by using a referral letter from her psychic. FML

#21338280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2729)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm - work - by 360whoroscoped (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

#21421959
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you deserved it (2234)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:17pm - kids - by diapersplease (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking my dogs for a walk, then it started to rain, and the wind went mad. I ran for cover in the trees near a bridge, slipped and fell into a river. I was soaking wet and my boots were full of water. Then to get back out of the river, I had to use stinging nettles as hand holds. FML

#7767397
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (3295)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:27am - animals - by Jammy238 - Sent from mobile version



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