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Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16633) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16632) - you deserved it (42434)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16628) - you deserved it (4086)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

#17980981
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16630) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by cnkk07 - United States

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (40983)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (4676)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16616) - you deserved it (3716)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (11916)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (6191)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

#8116532
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16609) - you deserved it (4705)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16605) - you deserved it (5267)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia



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