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Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

#17655668
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (40453)

On 09/03/2011 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by SterlingSilver91 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a very intoxicated man came in to my workplace and bought 50 dollars worth of yogurt, talked about the fact that he shouldn't have to wear pants in public, then threw up all over the register. FML

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26155) - you deserved it (5638)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, after waiting for 2 weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

#21401631
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/29/2015 at 7:11am - love - by xxlenalunaxx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

#18706374
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (5245)

On 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (4576)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

#14023923
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (53752)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

#21406879
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (3437)

On 05/08/2015 at 5:32pm - health - by better late than never -

Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML

#19687702
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4444)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (3996)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (11464)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML

#18804731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26147) - you deserved it (12509)

On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was making instant hot chocolate from the hot water dispenser in the break-room at work, a coworker informed me that it was industrial "recycled" wastewater that was only supposed to be used for washing tools. Thanks. I've only been doing that every day for the past 8 months. FML

#17623287
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26148) - you deserved it (4586)

On 08/30/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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