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Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

by inthecold / 02/19/2011 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

by sarahxHx / 07/14/2015 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

by JillianJuneBug / 05/16/2015 at 12:16pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot my library book on a bench then I got on a bus, so I got off at the next stop and walked back to get it. I arrived just in time to see some guy pick it up and hop on another bus. So now I'm not on the bus I needed, and I have to pay for the book. FML

by Loverscry / 11/05/2014 at 5:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

by shit / 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

by mike / 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to evening Mass. I later found that sometime between entering the church and receiving Communion, someone had snatched my iPhone straight out of my handbag. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2011 at 10:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

by ohgod. / 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

by Nat3_2020 / 01/27/2015 at 9:02am / United States / Love

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:51am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Geek

Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Money

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

by non-baker / 03/17/2015 at 10:12pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous