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Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (2467)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24928) - you deserved it (10287)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (17897)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (8352)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (38344)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (6648)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (5134)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (1907)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (4414)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (5247)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (3020)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (1926)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)



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