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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (3023)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

#8193962
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (4553)

On 02/13/2010 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as part of the treatment for my bulimia, my doctor informed me that I will not be allowed to go to the bathroom unsupervised. Meaning there will have to be another person in the bathroom with me at all times. I have a nervous bladder. I couldn't go if I wanted to. FML

#17977413
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (12902)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23347) - you deserved it (1858)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (3934) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (4193)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23344) - you deserved it (2958)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

#17540688
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (4067)

On 08/21/2011 at 7:09pm - health - by The captain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

#19138227
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23339) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:53am - misc - by Whoopsie - United States

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (12351)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

#19806668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23333) - you deserved it (2320)

On 06/18/2012 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)



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