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Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

#7059140
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (8566)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

#13372887
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (6236)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Rob - United States (New York)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2747)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20658) - you deserved it (3648)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (4403)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (48012)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (1780)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (3408)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (1714)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20644) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)



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