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Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22848) - you deserved it (2707)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was given a bottle of vitamins that are supposed to help your memory. I forgot them at home. FML

#19244814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (3997)

On 03/09/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

#21298539
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (6674)

On 11/13/2014 at 7:04pm - misc - by Jakeok (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (2685)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22845) - you deserved it (1497)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

#20035898
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (1618)

On 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by XYZee - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (2858)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

#17555162
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (1951)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

#398759
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (93664)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by cannabis_this420 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (5728)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML

#4967264
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (33983)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:00am - animals - by polish_chik - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (5589)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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