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Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21297) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (3844)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

#20021274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (2430)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (40550)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

#13010749
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (5369)

On 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (10652)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (1817)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (3724)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21279) - you deserved it (4697)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (2460)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (2418)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (42979)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (2602)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)



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