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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (4702)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22425) - you deserved it (3879)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (1633)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (9998)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22419) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22417) - you deserved it (4872)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (6701)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (5657)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (11146)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (1558)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (4476)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)



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