Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

#19110438
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (4310)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by mandy_2480 - China

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (2301)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (8363)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (3066)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (9652)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my driving test. Completing the test, we returned and parked at the testing facility. As my tester was complimenting me, I leaned down to wind my window up, catching my long hair in the window. Frantically thrashing, I put the car in drive and floored it into a concrete wall. FML

#969967
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (54268)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

#16304417
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (42354)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today, my mobile phone wouldn't turn on. I took it in to the phone store, but they won't fix or replace it because the account is in my dad's name, not mine. He's abroad for the next month, and the only way to get a hold of him is on a number I only stored on my phone. FML

#19511679
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (5020)

On 04/22/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by dontbuysamsung (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (42637)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (15812)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

#8043963
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21120) - you deserved it (4145)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: