Love, Embarrassing, Food and Intimacy: Hidden secret

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

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Same thing different taste

By soooyeah - 30/04/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 983

You deserved it 18 533

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 133

You deserved it 11 980

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 561

You deserved it 35 832

By weirdlove - 23/01/2010 08:38 - Australia

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 615

You deserved it 7 989

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 770

You deserved it 6 037

New one

By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 454

Turned on

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 10:57 - Denmark

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 447

You deserved it 14 926

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 340

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 6 906

By sad-sexed - 06/09/2010 12:50 - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 091

You deserved it 55 501

hemiol 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:53

Why not both?

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:50

Priorities lol

Comments

Scarylizard1798 23

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:50

Priorities lol

frostedfoster 15

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:15

*diabeties

alaina1104 11

Sunday 2 October 2016 22:05

*diabetes

BestOrginalName 22

Monday 3 October 2016 2:46

DIAHBEETUZ*

jk_waks23 19

Monday 3 October 2016 4:06

You don't get diabetes by just eating ice cream a lot . So it's okay! Op's boyfriend can enjoy his day!

BaththeMan 2

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:51

Well at least you know he isn't the average sex driven douche bag right ?

hemiol 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:53

Why not both?

magicdust95 31

Sunday 2 October 2016 16:54

Food before anything ?

mattiscg 22

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:01

wait shouldn't you be happy he wasnt talking about being ashamed of have sex with you?

ndts 4

Monday 3 October 2016 2:35

Maybe op thought it'd be really dirty and kinky Sex?

justinb97 16

Monday 3 October 2016 4:14

It's less about being ashamed and more about decency

Bassam24 21

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:02

why don't you eat ice cream with him everyone likes ice cream

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:10

I hope his brain-freeze was worse than your lady-parts-freeze!

keepcool67 4

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:38

Did you just assume it's gender?

captain_hero89 22

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:12

smart move. no one needs to see anyone eat that much ice cream

pancakebunny 19

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:27

Hahahahahahhaha

man_in_black08 28

Sunday 2 October 2016 17:40

Thats what you get for orgasming thinking about krispy kreme doughnuts when you had sex with him earlier!!

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The Top

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 43 966

Today, I threw an elaborate surprise birthday party for my boyfriend of four years. He thought we were going to a quiet dinner but when we arrived, thirty of his friends jumped out and surprised him. Instead of kissing me to thank me, he broke up with me because of how easily I had lied to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 4 756

The Top

Today, I learned that a innie belly button does not clean itself. I can't begin to describe the horrors I found, after using tweezers to get thirty years worth of "contents" out from inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 1 453

Today, I confronted my very passive-aggressive roommate about taking out the trash. With a smug smile, she insisted that I should write her a letter if I want to argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 092

You deserved it 1 487

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 616

You deserved it 6 330

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 874

You deserved it 91 339

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 105

You deserved it 2 431

Today, my man said, "If you get more sore from your workouts than from having sex with me, I’m gonna cry!" Uhm… I do serious weight training, and in bed we both enjoy the missionary position, so… sorry for your ego, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 145