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Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26005) - you deserved it (2116)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (2806)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

#4751132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (14791)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my toilet broke. Yesterday, the shower filled up with sludge. I have ten people coming over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. FML

#13961527
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (2357)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26003) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (4666)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

#17611743
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (6783)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

#19631196
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (2931)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (3128)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25992) - you deserved it (12628)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

#21439786
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (3678)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25987) - you deserved it (4703)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



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