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Today, my dad got over his aversion to tight pants, giving everyone at the DMV a good look at his package in skin-tight blue jeans. FML

#21402857
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24536) - you deserved it (2034)

On 05/01/2015 at 11:25am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

#21326721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24536) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/29/2014 at 8:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24533) - you deserved it (4322)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (1817)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

#18370859
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (3597)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

#19082479
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (5128)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24528) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

#21346560
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (2514)

On 01/29/2015 at 11:53pm - work - by Eyalsh (man) - Germany (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

#13479988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (6350)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (2290)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

#20640271
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (31755)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:17am - work - by charishard - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (2709)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States



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