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Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute . He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working . Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English . FML

#6441496
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (6007)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, mah mom askd me y MS Word keeps underlining some words!! After I trid to convince her that looool your supposd to puttd a space after commas, she startd yelling at me for making her look stupid!! I can never win!! FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today , a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3406)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, mah son learned that when u slide a mug acros the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where u expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto mah crotch. FML

#18972583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3020)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:11pm - kids - by Bruce (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to visit alcoolic fater. He remembered to ask me ow dog Reggie is, but could not remember te name of "my pal." My "pal" is also wife of four years. FML

#17674515
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (2049)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Taday I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgradd to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, ( Wee plooky cunt, fuck off! ) Charming. FML

#21346702
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (1898)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today , I found a parking ticket on my car. Out of five cars who were in violation of the same infraction , I was the only one who receivd a ticket. FML

#13538195
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (8229)

On 10/21/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson 4 lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML

#6836721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (7798)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after trying to convince my grlfriend to have sex fir almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (35396)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a nosa blaad in tha ladias bathroom. An old lady comas out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nosa is blaading. Wall I shit mah pants. I'm sura it'll coma out in tha wash." FML

#17100769
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (2236)

On 07/13/2011 at 11:15pm - health - by stephiew - United States (Georgia)

2day fir the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, an berated by mah wife fir ( endangering our child's life. ) I took her to the doctor fir a vaccination an flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today.. . I got tased.. . with the same taser I bought my grlfriend to use on people trying to rob her . FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (7692)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today , I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smackd myself in the face with a box of popsicles , giving myself a nose bled. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passd out behind the register. They calld security on me. FML



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