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Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say "Hello, my name is-" I sneezed right in her face. FML

#13686698
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21511) - you deserved it (5578)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my parents don't know the difference between a foreign person and a deaf person. They've been yelling at our exchange student for the past 2 days. FML

#20034373
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (1393)

On 08/21/2012 at 7:17pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (2114)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (6750)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML

#1386673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (66101)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:54am - love - by mammamia (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21507) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (37369)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the 20% pay cut that the "management team" took at my job really only applied to... me. I also found out that my closest friend at work has been lying to me about it, and telling my boss everything I say. His pay was never cut. I guess it pays to be the boss's snitch. FML

#8458857
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21506) - you deserved it (2024)

On 02/19/2010 at 10:13pm - work - by monochromatic - United States (New York)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21503) - you deserved it (2406)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (16251)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

#17878536
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (7347)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (9576)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the airport about to leave for my business trip. In the restroom, I put my purse on the edge of the sink and got my lipstick out. I leaned closer to apply my lipstick and my open purse fell into the sink, triggering the automatic faucet, filling my purse with water. FML

#6814532
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (8827)

On 12/18/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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