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Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24076) - you deserved it (2563)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2448)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2016)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24076) - you deserved it (1720)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

#21345278
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/27/2015 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (5777)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (8085)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML

#21395867
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24087) - you deserved it (2545)

On 04/18/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by Armstrong (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (4484)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister got married. It was also the day that I was supposed to deliver a heartfelt toast to the happy couple. I got so nervous that I kept stuttering and finally ended with "Congrats Beth and Steve!" Her husband's name is Eric. Her ex was named Steve. FML

#19650903
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (8861)

On 05/20/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by shygirl - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2474)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, the highlight of my day was that the gas station I work at finally got a new mop head. FML

#13801258
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (3730)

On 11/11/2010 at 11:53am - work - by khaelian - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

#20076048
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (1920)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:15am - love - by jlee0000785 (woman) - Australia



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