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Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (8067)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (5109)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

#18600051
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (1975)

On 12/24/2011 at 5:05pm - health - by AllergyRidden - United States (California)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (78)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (6544)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

#14528357
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (5070)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25012) - you deserved it (2123)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (2133)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

#17889211
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (7238)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (40950)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)



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