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Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML

#17755908
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:40am - animals - by izu - United States

Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML

#16488839
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (37984)

On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (2985)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (2115)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

#3630061
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (55323)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

#12999692
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (3104)

On 09/11/2010 at 2:19am - misc - by ~JESSICA~ - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML

#19325462
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (2175)

On 03/22/2012 at 8:06am - love - by Ima in Hungary (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21576) - you deserved it (14450)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a friend of mine over webcam, when I saw a scary looking man in a grey hoodie creeping around in the background. I loudly proclaimed "Paige! Who is that creepy looking guy behind you?" Turns out it was her mom. She heard everything. FML

#6271933
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (9412)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:34pm - misc - by Sursion (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (4002)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (1605)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21565) - you deserved it (9006)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (3879)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia



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