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Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (4463)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24675) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I am spending new year absolutely alone. My girlfriend canceled our plans the day before so she could spend it with alcohol and strangers. Somehow, I still love her. FML

#762
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (10063)

On 12/30/2008 at 8:36pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (8061)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth. When it came time for me to spit, I absentmindedly opened the bathroom drawer and spat in there instead of in the sink. FML

#21328982
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (11255)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by 30000 - United States (California)

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

#3701
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (5228)

On 01/30/2009 at 10:28am - love - by The L word - United States (Illinois)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (3094)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was robbed of five bucks by a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML

#13220613
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24669) - you deserved it (3476)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

#305
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (13480)

On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother woke me up at 4:30 A.M. to tell me our dog was running down the street. I ran for an hour, chasing after her. Turns out it was our new neighbor's dog. Ours was in our basement. FML

#7396048
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (3610)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (4813)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (6761)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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