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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (5437)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (54969)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (5841)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21246) - you deserved it (3831)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21243) - you deserved it (43009)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (42386)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

#14554836
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (7143)

On 01/12/2011 at 2:42pm - misc - by iheartnjdevils - United States (Texas)

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (2539)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

#19362794
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (2339)

On 03/28/2012 at 9:52am - misc - by andromeda80 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (2218)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (1812)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (47752)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (33025)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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