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Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

#7936771
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (6300)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm - love - by cherrycokeee - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to file for bankruptcy because my ex-wife didn't want to pay for the house she didn't want me to have in the divorce, and didn't bother to have my name removed from the loan before she filed bankruptcy herself. FML

#8604257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (2793)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club pointing to the woman. It was his mother. FML

#1146532
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (58096)

On 04/20/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by SuperBunny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (4106)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

#13708556
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (15345)

On 11/03/2010 at 11:16pm - love - by bummed (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends thought it would be a good idea to make fun of a homeless man. I didn't fancy making fun of the less fortunate, so I stayed a bit back. Still, the homeless man didn't think it would matter to throw a rock at me after my buddies ran away. FML

#12573522
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (13240)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Yay..... - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (3020)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (5767)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (32385)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

#19998761
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25317) - you deserved it (2717)

On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (43874)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was at work at a supermarket straightening shelves in the food aisles. Just as I had finished and got ready to clock out, I heard a giant crash. A lady in a motor scooter knocked over an entire aisle of canned goods. She got up and walked away just fine, pretending nothing happened. FML



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