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Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of 'creative differences', as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn't decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

#12797067
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (3958)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:21am - love - by nottelling7012 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found garbage in my postbox. In amongst the garbage, I found a note saying ''This is all you ever will get. Stay away from me!'', from the girl I sent a love poem to the other day. FML

#8404119
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (6295)

On 02/18/2010 at 10:01am - misc - by mylifeisahell - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (2887)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22979) - you deserved it (14157)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (4439)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

#20196764
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22975) - you deserved it (1753)

On 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by ko - United States (Illinois)

Today, after suffering from constipation for three days, I finally took a dump. Just as things reached the point of no return, my land line and doorbell all rang. FML

#14752414
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:06am - health - by Poopie (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (1342)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was yelled at and humiliated by my otherwise awesome brother-in-law for my supposed lack of effort in the planning of a baby shower for my very pregnant sister. The kicker? Her huge, break-my-bank semi-surprise baby shower has been in the works for a month and is happening this weekend. FML

#5825370
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (2261)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by goodsister (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22968) - you deserved it (2877)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

#20169793
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (2103)

On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my sister asked me if any of my family members had commented on my recent weight gain. I told her no not really. Her reply? "They must just being saying it behind your back then." FML

#7729865
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22966) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:38am - health - by lilsis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (2023)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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