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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21537) - you deserved it (1795)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21535) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

#19031754
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (1748)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (42107)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (3038)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my annoying and disrespectful roommate discovered Pandora. She also discovered that she can play Christmas music on Pandora. Only 23 more days until Christmas. FML

#14065722
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML

#9572677
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (8692)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:33am - misc - by Gina - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (9642)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (3712)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (1872)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got married. I received a beautifully wrapped gift from my dad. I was full of excitement until I opened it and found two taxidermied rabbits. The ones I had when I was in the fifth grade. FML

#20120354
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (1598)

On 10/16/2012 at 10:48pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad suggested that as an alternative to buying me new school clothes that actually fit, I should just join the swim team, lose some weight, and wear my stuff from last year. FML

#17398153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21523) - you deserved it (12673)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:41pm - misc - by swmmr (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21523) - you deserved it (6041)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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