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Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (3543)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

#19654364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23845) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

Today, on my way to my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he doesn't have to drive me in anymore. FML

#19380667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (1974)

On 03/31/2012 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

#7224292
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (5229)

On 01/08/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by crappy_day (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23838) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (1537)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (38927)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (4788)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

#19860530
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (4977)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23833) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (4080)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (2170)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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