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Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML

#19036366
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (6494)

On 02/09/2012 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by nosymptoms (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

#14380457
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2432)

On 12/29/2010 at 8:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

#14381154
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/29/2010 at 10:24am - love - by ... -

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (10191)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

#18769573
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (2415)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:40pm - work - by lions214 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25341) - you deserved it (13009)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML

#20193303
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (4800)

On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (5000)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (2925)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (3011)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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