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Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (3942)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

#18615035
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

#18907023
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (6191)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (11466)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (3033)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

#21412233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (6993)

On 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

#19671635
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27638) - you deserved it (2236)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML

#20017485
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27637) - you deserved it (2736)

On 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm - kids - by JAdams (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27640) - you deserved it (1889)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version



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