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Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Friday 5 February 2016