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Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

by ledentist / 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, the 3 girls who have continuously bullied me for the past 3 years gave a class presentation on why bullying is so terrible. Judging from our teacher's comments, they're going to get top marks. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

by single now / 02/26/2010 at 12:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Work

Today, my mom finally learned how to text. Now it's her way of communicating, even when we're in the same room. FML

by montextes / 07/25/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Nevada) / Geek

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 10:40pm / United States / Money

Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

by xxxchelsiexxx / 02/06/2011 at 1:02am / United States / Health

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

by crushed / 09/29/2011 at 10:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

by alaillama / 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.