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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

#12327925
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7766) - you deserved it (36027)

On 08/05/2010 at 7:14am - money - by 8to10days (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I bleached my hair for the new school year. Instead of blonde, it came out orange, making my hair resemble a bloated pumpkin. FML

#12918754
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7766) - you deserved it (19801)

On 09/05/2010 at 3:20pm - misc - by xXRowynXx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7766) - you deserved it (34260)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that i had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7764) - you deserved it (49164)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

#7040883
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (36055)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7764) - you deserved it (116426)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (31772)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

#11071289
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7761) - you deserved it (51411)

On 06/09/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was so desperate for any kind of male romantic attention that I googled "prison pen pals", and I'm considering writing to one. FML

#20033437
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7760) - you deserved it (13161)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:39am - love - by desperategurl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (38485)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7755) - you deserved it (27427)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

#7027247
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16801)

On 12/30/2009 at 1:08am - work - by bells - United States (Oregon)

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

#20179414
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7754) - you deserved it (16624)

On 11/26/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by Z (man) - Australia



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