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Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

#18208343
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (5443)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23062) - you deserved it (2761)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

#18825467
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (3766)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park when I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me so feeling nice I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML

#18044190
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23057) - you deserved it (6027)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:34am - misc - by tom0441 - Reserved

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

#18557623
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (2044)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:53pm - work - by me (woman) - United States

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

#8851700
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (2424)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by artsmart1 - United States

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

#8823519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23052) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:52pm - health - by GoDiarrhea (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23050) - you deserved it (41779)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23051) - you deserved it (7672)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (2267)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

#19134075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (2816)

On 02/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by kohler9790 - United States



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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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