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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at 7 in the morning, I end up outside in a night dress, with bare feet and in the rain. I've just found out that my two year old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

#685
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16849) - you deserved it (2830)

On 01/02/2009 at 8:22pm - kids - by lilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML

#15378969
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16850) - you deserved it (32733)

On 03/19/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Uh oh... - United States

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16849) - you deserved it (1987)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

#11857753
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16847) - you deserved it (39022)

On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16843) - you deserved it (2886)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend thought the garbage can in our kitchen smelled bad. Instead of cleaning it, he had it equipped with a Wunderbaum. Our entire house now smells like "New Car". FML

#14717591
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16841) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by everfresh (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16841) - you deserved it (2181)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16840) - you deserved it (4624)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

#19018819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16840) - you deserved it (1830)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

#2282414
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16836) - you deserved it (31424)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

#3604059
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16836) - you deserved it (55004)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16836) - you deserved it (2065)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)



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