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Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (9650)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (42632)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mobile phone wouldn't turn on. I took it in to the phone store, but they won't fix or replace it because the account is in my dad's name, not mine. He's abroad for the next month, and the only way to get a hold of him is on a number I only stored on my phone. FML

#19511679
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (5020)

On 04/22/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by dontbuysamsung (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months told me he was not going to celebrate Valentine's day because it was a "capitalistic consumerism holiday". He works in a bank and helps "capitalism consumerism" 364 days a year. FML

#8043963
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21122) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/09/2010 at 4:49am - misc - by Brokenheartz - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

#600
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (15808)

On 12/26/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML

#19203363
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (3660)

On 03/02/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by wtf did I do - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (4144)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML

#8758514
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (2548)

On 03/01/2010 at 9:24pm - love - by pizzafaceinc (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

#9160182
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21111) - you deserved it (8472)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:26pm - health - by Betty (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my favorite burger joint. Upon taking the first bite of my burger, I dislocated my jaw, and the waiters had to call 911. FML

#19990108
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (2287)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:15am - health - by cherknobil (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21106) - you deserved it (7504)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I brought a girl home. My dad's first reaction was to pull out the camera and snap away. She now won't reply to my texts or calls. FML

#19374063
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (1908)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by jasonnn (man) - Australia



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