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Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (10164)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (7112)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (6988)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (6671)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (6750)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (2066)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (1761)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend, when he suggested that I might want to buy a new loofah. When I asked why, he admitted he's been using it to scrub his ass crack for weeks. I use that loofah to wash my face. FML

#20074793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (2370)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:48pm - health - by Derp McShitstain (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (9632)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (7556)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

#9099724
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (2102)

On 03/15/2010 at 9:33am - work - by PunchingKennyLoggins (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (11029)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML

#16886368
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (38323)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by nomorefreehugs - United States (New Jersey)



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