Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (34892)
On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (24166)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (5648)
On 02/23/2012 at 8:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7838) - you deserved it (28046)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7832) - you deserved it (68232)
On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7832) - you deserved it (16136)
On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (70439)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7828) - you deserved it (41709)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7822) - you deserved it (17541)
On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7817) - you deserved it (27229)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (27491)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore
Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (46494)
On 09/13/2009 at 9:00pm - work - by thissucks (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (53709)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
