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Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

#14861457
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (7541)

On 02/06/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by xxxchelsiexxx - United States

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

#21505729
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27656) - you deserved it (1532)

On 12/20/2015 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer had kept my I.D by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

#14914923
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (3907)

On 02/09/2011 at 9:48pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

#21327143
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (2386)

On 12/30/2014 at 12:24pm - health - by mikki bee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27648) - you deserved it (10529)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27647) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

#21031476
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (55668)

On 01/18/2014 at 3:33am - money - by unicorn_skies - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML

#21454874
100 comments

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

#21504013
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (2358)

On 12/15/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Bayern)

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

#14432295
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (7806)

On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (4517)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML

#18615035
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (3806)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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