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Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (2466)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (78080)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (7704)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

#19374256
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/30/2012 at 1:37am - misc - by rozziepop - United States (California)

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22424) - you deserved it (4702)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (3879)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22423) - you deserved it (1633)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML

#19037206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22421) - you deserved it (1824)

On 02/09/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by truth - United States

Today, I got my first university math midterm back. I did so bad that my teacher put a sadface on the first page. FML

#13675259
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (9998)

On 11/01/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22419) - you deserved it (3029)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22417) - you deserved it (3082)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (6009)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (11145)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia



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