Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21230) - you deserved it (49841)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I got an early Valentine's day card. My boyfriend and I recently broke up, and my hopes shot up thinking it might be from him. It wasn't. It was from my parents. FML

#18993320
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (4078)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by Arp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (37424)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

#13850777
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (17248)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:06am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was on the phone with Microsoft Customer Service for about a total of 2 hours. That's the longest I've ever talked to anybody. FML

#17700838
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (3937)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Juicy12Jham - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to find my house was flooded from a broken pipe under the sink. My house had just recently had new wood floors, carpet and electrics installed because 6 months earlier my house had been flooded by the same pipe breaking. FML

#20047256
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (2473)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by me - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (3287)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (3822)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

#5119297
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (2107)

On 09/08/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

#13364492
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (9484)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:53am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: