Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (5813)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

#19344485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27626) - you deserved it (7320)

On 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Mark Allan (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (2320)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

#21480731
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/16/2015 at 11:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (2161)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27623) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (7138)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -

Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML

#17535698
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (2312)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (3759)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

#6582615
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (7017)

On 12/03/2009 at 11:08am - misc - by urinanalysis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML

#18951326
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/30/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by oldsoulyoungbody (woman) - United States

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2454)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

#21481211
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27618) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/17/2015 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: