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Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

#14270969
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (5930)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:51am - work - by embarrassed - United States

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

#21337935
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22941) - you deserved it (25354)

On 01/15/2015 at 10:43pm - love - by everysingleone - United States

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

#19714099
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (6226)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:41am - health - by sicksicksick (woman) - Senegal

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

#21150371
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (50473)

On 05/24/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by groundedasfuck - United States (Alabama)

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (54234)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (3552)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (4740)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22930) - you deserved it (11843)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

#19514212
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (1844)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

#17954087
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22923) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:11pm - love - by crapedup - United States (Alabama)

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

#8031607
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (4760)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22921) - you deserved it (4590)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

#5847643
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (5822)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by rugernut13 (man) - United States (Virginia)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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