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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

#19972193
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (1514)

On 07/22/2012 at 1:04am - work - by missingphoneproblems (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (2835)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (12263)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

#9021886
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (5435)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

#18902746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (2129)

On 01/24/2012 at 9:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (2414)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

#13710302
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21956) - you deserved it (5696)

On 11/04/2010 at 1:19am - work - by upsetandunjustified (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21953) - you deserved it (53104)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

#17941193
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21950) - you deserved it (12100)

On 10/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by glitterzebra - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (3573)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (7494)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (8497)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

#19243126
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (2426)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm - misc - by babymine - United States (Michigan)



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