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Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (78)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

#20202076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (2122)

On 12/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25011) - you deserved it (2133)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

#17889211
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (7238)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (40953)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

#3335401
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (43130)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (1932)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (1712)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25005) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (9499)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25003) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States



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