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Today, I was at the airport getting ready to go to Hawaii. The guy at the counter said my flight was delayed. It turns out that the flight that was delayed was a flight going to Miami. My flight left at the regular time, and my luggage was on it, because I checked in the night before. FML

#6761430
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (3167)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:23am - money - by dJ21 (man) - Guam

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (15855)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (2404)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

#18062518
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:54am - misc - by StromyG2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (15517)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (3100)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (1414)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (2222)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

#19303297
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/18/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (5383)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

#15004070
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (2257)

On 02/16/2011 at 4:08pm - misc - by clips (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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