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Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

#13547625
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/22/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

#18942178
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (2279)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:23am - misc - by scared for life (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (4914)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (7238)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (3562)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (6061)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (3222)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (7576)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML

#517
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (1862)

On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (4274)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)



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