Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

#21421325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25166) - you deserved it (3182)

On 06/05/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by yuck (woman) -

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

#21376501
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (2261)

On 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by ohno - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

#17112107
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (13484)

On 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm - misc - by bym5052 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25159) - you deserved it (14426)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had brought her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the adderall they found in my desk. FML

#1021552
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (121294)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by hatetheroommate (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25157) - you deserved it (1579)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (3719)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25155) - you deserved it (2570)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

#6238713
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25156) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/10/2009 at 1:20am - work - by blargggggg (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

#12004673
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (14117)

On 07/20/2010 at 3:01pm - love - by Ohshucks! - United States

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

#21330815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (4704)

On 01/04/2015 at 6:14pm - love - by TimJack18 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (14372)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: