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Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (3866)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (5997)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (10025)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (8111)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (1560)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (2033)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

#17916897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (2353)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by grubbieduc - United States (California)

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

#6844162
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (10168)

On 12/20/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by kat, ACT - United States

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (13147)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (10575)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

#258
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (12218)

On 11/09/2008 at 4:18am - health - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (6735)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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