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Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay / 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, during work hours, I took time off and discreetly went for an interview for a prospective job at our rival company. As soon as I reached the place, I bumped into my current boss. FML

by eaglesmile / 04/03/2015 at 12:37am / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2011 at 12:17am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

by MoonStarShine3 / 06/09/2015 at 12:12pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

by kdgirl / 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

by single now / 02/26/2010 at 12:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

by gmac0417 / 09/01/2012 at 2:02am / United States / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

by angry / 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML