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Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (25315)
On 01/19/2011 at 12:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53681)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I attended an elderly man's funeral. As I approached the casket his wife said, "Thank you for coming." I replied with, "No, thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7801) - you deserved it (17308)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (32098)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7789) - you deserved it (26117)
On 07/07/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by unit - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7786) - you deserved it (17590)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by Chris (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I finally found the perfect quote to open my college essay. Then I found out that the author was one of the founders of the KKK. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7784) - you deserved it (2023)
On 09/20/2012 at 2:10am - work - by Albert (man) - United States
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7783) - you deserved it (16806)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had a mumbled conversation with myself in a supermarket aisle about whether or not to buy a bottle of bourbon. Nothing screams "pathetic loser" like an alcoholic in denial having a debate with himself out loud near strangers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (19491)
On 05/16/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by Andre -
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7781) - you deserved it (21653)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7780) - you deserved it (36336)
On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, there was a big snow storm and I wanted to help shovel, so I put on 3 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 2 winter coats, 2 pairs of gloves, a hat and a scarf. Once outside, I was told to go back inside because the job was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7778) - you deserved it (19273)
On 01/19/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7774) - you deserved it (28523)
On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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