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Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (8511)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went to a concert. One of my favorite bands was performing, and I'd had the ticket for seven months, with a great seat for the show. It was all going perfectly, that is until a guy twice my height sat in front of me. FML

#19781971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22076) - you deserved it (1764)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (6908)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (1244)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (1807)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

#20445378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (2327)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:49pm - animals - by Twiggysucks68 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (2848)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (2124)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22065) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2976)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (6450)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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