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Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (7638)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (2142)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (183475)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (5828)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

#8624928
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (18414)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by pickit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

#20050418
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (2030)

On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20922) - you deserved it (4736)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (1985)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (10178)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (2288)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I diagnosed a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amused me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managed to stop laughing, my eyes were watering and my patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20914) - you deserved it (43351)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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