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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (15429)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML

#19714099
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (6314)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:41am - health - by sicksicksick (woman) - Senegal

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23595) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (4859)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML

#20091837
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (3193)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (54893)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

#8493651
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (7726)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:38pm - love - by gullible (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML

#20145916
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (4985)

On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (8934)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

#18272424
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (1911)

On 11/17/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by tnh - United States

Today, my boss made me work a longer shift than usual. Not because he needed me in, but just so I'd finish at the same time as his brat of a son, and give him a lift home. FML

#19522593
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (1779)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:15pm - work - by Mug - United Kingdom

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23586) - you deserved it (2351)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)



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