All I have to is dream dream dream - FML

All I have to is dream dream dream

By Anonymous - 28/10/2020 18:02 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt I wet my pants in front of everyone. It wasn’t a dream. A toddler laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 234

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 136

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 320

You deserved it 4 957

Don't let things get you down, just pish yersel

By Anonymous - 19/07/2023 22:00

Today, I, a grown man in his 30’s, fell asleep and pissed myself like a 2 year-old at bedtime. I was at work on my dinner break and had taken a nap on the break room sofa, which is now soaked in my pee, and I have no change of clothes. Twenty coworkers and 5 senior management all know it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 303

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 107

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 028

You deserved it 9 024

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 415

You deserved it 5 489

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 541

You deserved it 5 198

Long term cringe

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 08:00

Today, I realized that the reason why my classmates from second grade may have thought of me so poorly was that I stupidly told all of them that I was a bedwetter and needed to wear pull-ups during the night. I feel like a fool now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 195

By Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 383

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 29 October 2020 1:26

He was probably thrilled that he was better potty-trained than you.

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 29 October 2020 0:13

Peeing dreams are rarely just dreams.

Comments

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 29 October 2020 0:13

Peeing dreams are rarely just dreams.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 29 October 2020 1:26

He was probably thrilled that he was better potty-trained than you.

dasin 18

Thursday 29 October 2020 20:16

where and how? like where are you sleeping that some toddler would be watching you? did you actually dream or so up in the clouds you thought you dreamt?

Chazzster 28

Thursday 29 October 2020 21:21

My assumption is that OP was passed out drunk on the couch.

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The Top

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 208

You deserved it 3 632

The Top

Today, I'm now at the point in my marriage where I’ve stopped caring, so when my wife says, “I’m fine” I’m going to treat her like she’s fine. I’ll maybe post an update with details of how long she goes from, “I’m fine” to screaming at me for not playing along with her mind games anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 155

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 567

You deserved it 4 624

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 628

You deserved it 4 433

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 010

You deserved it 4 586

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 4 772

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 522

You deserved it 315