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Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (2767)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (3334)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (1419)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (1631)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (4443)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (19466)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

#19548307
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (5828)

On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (7589)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (1880)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my mother followed me to work to see what I got up to. I'm a fitness instructor in a ground floor gym that has big windows overlooking the street. She stood outside and waved at me for half an hour, while I tried to concentrate on teaching a visibly amused class. FML

#17836220
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:28am - work - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21637) - you deserved it (8411)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (2280)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21633) - you deserved it (3280)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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