Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dressed up like a pirate, dressed my dog as a parrot and bought $30 worth of candy to pass out to trick-or-treaters. I waited by the door for 3 hours. Not one kid came. FML

#20142085
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (2415)

On 10/31/2012 at 8:40pm - misc - by hallofail (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (16471)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (4161)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed that my ceiling was sagging slightly. I got up on to a chair to look at it more closely, and I touched it. Turns out that my ceiling was full of water. It went everywhere, ruining my new iPod, phone, and all the things my daughter bought for university. FML

#8375974
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (4323)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by ceilingssuck (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (2667)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (1573)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML

#18479274
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (3883)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - work - by Poorman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

#19399007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (7134)

On 04/03/2012 at 12:43am - intimacy - by DanteWest1000 (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (9935)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

#14205128
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (21974)

On 12/14/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got hit in the face at a dodge-ball tournament. My entire mouth was bloody. The sad thing is, I wasn't even playing. FML

#18316587
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (2933)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:53pm - health - by haileyjunkin -



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: