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Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

#17845036
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (5577)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:14am - health - by Josh - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27724) - you deserved it (5955)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (5295) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (10959)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27721) - you deserved it (5909)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

#20058422
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (1839)

On 09/05/2012 at 2:12am - misc - by holymoly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

#20033849
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27719) - you deserved it (5771)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (3634)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

#21457897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27716) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:54am - intimacy - by lonelygal69 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML

#21454874
100 comments

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

#16713536
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27712) - you deserved it (4943)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by NoRunning - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (4561)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (7373)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version



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