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Today I was awoken by wife once again . It seems that whenever I stop snoring she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living . She does this almost every night every hour . FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (3357)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today,ile picking up a birtday cake, I was screamd at by an upset woman fir getting special attention from te bakers, and tat I was noting more tan an attention-ogging slut. Te bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

#20201761
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (1593)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today... I mat mah naw roommata. Sha savaraly struggld with pronouncing mah nama... and dacidd that to sava tima and tha affort... sha's just going to call ma what sha thinks mah nama sounds lika: Luba. FML

#17379183
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon cuz my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

#14738244
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (2287)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wreless router. FML

#17710683
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (14368)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I Was Helping Mah Dad Pick Up The Pieces Of Bark That Cummed Off The Tree That We'd Just Cut Down. I Bent Over To Grab A Dark Looking Piece Of Bark. Turn Out It Was Mah Dogs Crap. Fresh , Warm , Moist Piece Of Crap To Be Exact. Fat FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (8040)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally receivd looool my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

#19070055
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23946) - you deserved it (6944)

On 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by ontherun2012 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, ma boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card fir Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, looool I cecked te receipt e'd left in te bag. Turns out e ad bougt it during te 2 weeks we were broken up fir some oter grlo rejected im, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

#19432240
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (6293)

On 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

2day I was working as a service writer in looool an auto service sop. A really cute girl cummed in to buy a eadligt, I offered to install te bulb for er. My and got stuck beind te eadligt, se ad to ask one of our mecanic to come remove te air box from er car to get my and out. FML

#2958719
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (9316)

On 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm - work - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, We Took The Kids To The Local Pond Near My Sister-in-law's To Feed The Geese. I Hadn't Been There Before, And Thought I'd Take A Picture. I Turned Around To Adjust My Camera, But The Geese, Realizing The Feast Had Ended, Took Flight. Before I Could React I Was Showered With Goose Shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (3689)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, mah boyfriend bought a new toaster . It only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly . It makes me scream in terror every single time . My boyfriend has now vowed to ( Toast 'til the end of time . ) It's going to be a long year . FML

Today, I finally finished mah summer assignments fir three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out mah school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of mah summer. FML

#20028136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (1988)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by spandexwiener (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

looool Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

#21381631
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23950) - you deserved it (2462)

On 03/25/2015 at 11:43pm - health - by anonymous - United States



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