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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (5573)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (3629)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

#18557355
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (6291)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by BKCK4187 - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24311) - you deserved it (4313) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (4892)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

#19114135
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (5987)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by LadyGore - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24309) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my boyfriend passed out on the floor. Then I passed out, due to anxiety of seeing him passed out. FML

#18823126
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (5501)

On 01/16/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML

#14955140
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (4927)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:00am - misc - by knockedup (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (1699)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my Grandmother gave me rosary beads for my birthday. She told me I better start praying for a husband. FML

#13135872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24303) - you deserved it (2701)

On 09/20/2010 at 11:02pm - misc - by kdgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24304) - you deserved it (53140)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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