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Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20566) - you deserved it (2047)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

#14537773
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20560) - you deserved it (4970)

On 01/10/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I take a few swigs and notice a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I feel something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML

#15689448
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (5602)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after leaving work at 10 pm, I took a shortcut to the highway. After getting lost, my GPS informed me that the service was unavailable and I should try back in an hour. This occurred moments before I ran out of gas. FML

#8861127
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20554) - you deserved it (7525)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by Lost... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (37218)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

#19898504
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (6261)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (6249)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (3037)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (8689)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

#7725800
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (5166)

On 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm - misc - by sparkle (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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