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Today, at work, I was asked to sharpen some pencils. I'm an electronics and mechanics engineer, and while I understand it's been quite a while since I was in primary school, I still wonder why my boss felt the need to explain in minute detail how to sharpen a pencil. FML

#14494219
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:11am - work - by dibman (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML

#13764859
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (14504)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

#7930001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (4540)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I got mugged. They wanted my phone and wallet. The most important thing in my wallet was my fully punched Smoothie King card. FML

#9100714
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (3546)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:05am - money - by ashleeylynn - United States

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (3105)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2045)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (4660)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

#6931978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (4802)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by iFail (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (13501)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

#9093072
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (4431)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:51am - money - by Fridaythe12th (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

#21313940
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (2283)

On 12/08/2014 at 6:08pm - misc - by blech (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried a new hairstyle to impress a guy I like. I was pretty confident, until he took one look at me and said, "Uh... why's there an onion on your head?" So much for that. FML

#21376359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (5159)

On 03/17/2015 at 12:25pm - love - by RS (woman) - United States (Florida)



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