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Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

#14264681
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (4984)

On 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm - misc - by me (woman) - Bulgaria

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (2203)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (1755)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (16877)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3115)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent ages at CVS waiting for a flu shot. The main cause of holdup was a disagreement between the pharmacist and the insurance company over 4 cents. FML

#14135848
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (2254)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3686)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (2531)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2587)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (1337)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (3373)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (4981)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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