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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML

#21457897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/19/2015 at 1:54am - intimacy - by lonelygal69 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML

#16713536
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (4943)

On 06/17/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by NoRunning - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (5954)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (65541)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (4561)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, whilst in the last week of my notice period, I was instructed by my boss to tell six new employees that their jobs had fallen through before they'd even started. Later that afternoon, I received a call from my line manager. Guess whose own job has fallen through too. FML

#21397399
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2061)

On 04/21/2015 at 12:45pm - work - by Karma (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2575)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (6061)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States

Today, my grown up, unemployed boyfriend stole 70 dollars from my wallet and tried to hide it in two different places in case he needed to ditch me and go out by himself. He got angry when I confronted him and stormed out. He feels perfectly entitled. I work, pay rent and buy food. FML

#21426185
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (6745)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:40pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (4657)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27705) - you deserved it (2085)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (5107)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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