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Today, my friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to my friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I found a camera someone left at our house. I looked at the pictures, and saw my grandma in a sexy outfit. FML

#6480509
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (5168)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (2257)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (2521)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2446)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (2302)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I volunteered to tutor a 17-year-old girl in science. I had to explain in detail of what the real Big Bang theory was, as she only knew about the show. Later, I heard I was reported by her because apparently, "I was trying to convert her to Scientology." I now know why she needed a tutor. FML

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (43484)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (3165)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

#5661847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21660) - you deserved it (4282)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by swedishguy (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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