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Today, my mother is trying to convince me to divorce my husband. He has a tattoo of a skull on his shoulder and she believes this means he kills people. FML

#19742769
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (2815)

On 06/06/2012 at 4:06am - love - by facepalm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (2373)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

#6367435
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (5154)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:14am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (5058)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (4954)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26400) - you deserved it (1602)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I bought a brand new huge leather recliner. After laying down and watching football for some time, I sit up and hear a loud shatter. My iPhone was crushed by the mechanics of the chair after it slipped out of my pocket. FML

#8080103
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (7971)

On 02/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (2089)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (7319)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26415) - you deserved it (2825)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (8498)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -



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