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Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20963) - you deserved it (2386)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20960) - you deserved it (1937)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (6640)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (7301)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (13852)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by. The attackers used water guns. FML

#17724131
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (5720)

On 09/11/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by COCKYmanUSC - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (48710)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (79874)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

#20026393
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (1810)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20946) - you deserved it (34850)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20945) - you deserved it (3670)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)



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