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Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (1432)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#17756574
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (9633)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:38am - misc - by sweatstreaks - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so i said "yeah that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

#919776
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (36147)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by AlienZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (1614)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18745) - you deserved it (3405)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (2602)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I went to pick up my daughter from preschool, I found out she'd "accidentally" tried to flush her clothes down the toilet while going to the bathroom. FML

#10713367
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (2239)

On 05/23/2010 at 2:02pm - kids - by rkl2010 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (36011)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (4201)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18738) - you deserved it (4023)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18735) - you deserved it (49486)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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