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Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (1920)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday and my kids made me a card. Unfortunately, my kids used the wall for paper. Now I have red and blue crayon all over my bedroom wall. FML

#15512753
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (7541)

On 03/27/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by nicchick411 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought one of my favorite albums from when I was growing up. When I looked at the liner notes, I learned that my favorite song on the album wasn't about taking a bath, but about going to a brothel. My second-favorite isn't about moving, but about suicide. My childhood just shattered. FML

#13873567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (5266)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by nilssonfan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML

#18295282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (3668)

On 11/20/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by NoThanksGrandma (woman) -

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (7077)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (3763)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, I was called into work to fix up their projection system. I drove 40 kilometers in peak hour to get there. As soon as I parked my car and was about to walk in, I got a phone call saying "Don't worry, we fixed it, you don't have to come in." FML

#6182229
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (1815)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:37pm - work - by chiraag87 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

#19091459
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (7750)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23105) - you deserved it (2618)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (4230)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

#6919717
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (3685)

On 12/24/2009 at 10:49am - kids - by Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

#2940444
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (49857)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me for my birthday. Over dinner he handed me a blank card that had the words "I love you" hastily written on it. When the waiter came to take our order he informed him that we'd be paying separately. Happy Birthday. FML

#1942
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (2072)

On 01/20/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by nicegirl08 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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