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Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (3492)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

#717975
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (85988)

On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

#19511561
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (2869)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

#15169301
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26302) - you deserved it (8517)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by thelunarwolf -

Today, I was talking to my friend about my life and she stopped me mid-sentence and told me that my life makes her sad. FML

#4714
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:37pm - misc - by why... - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

#14481844
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26297) - you deserved it (13560)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was perusing my mom's Facebook. I noticed she has an album of pictures for each member of the family, except me. The dog has an album. FML

#8790024
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26295) - you deserved it (2483)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

#15084705
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26295) - you deserved it (3391)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:55pm - health - by CarSick (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML

#17274904
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26295) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:05am - money - by talwin (man) - Reserved

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

#18440924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26294) - you deserved it (6771)

On 12/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by smileytheface - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (5527)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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