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Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (4502)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (6930)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (14345)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, one of my boyfriend's friends ranted on about how I am such a crappy girlfriend and how all of his friends don't like me. I just spent over $200 on a surprise party that I invited them all to last weekend. FML

#14597219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/16/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by me - United States (Georgia)

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

#21418872
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (2125)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm - misc - by somebody (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML

#14058874
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (2780)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

#20397574
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (1824)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

#13756380
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (4201)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by jadehin (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5220)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at my workplace, a TV was installed just above my register at work which plays the same mind-numbingly awful 13 second ad on loop for the duration of our latest sale. The sale lasts for what are going to be three very long weeks. FML

#17398491
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (2629)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:37pm - work - by Kris - China

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (7346)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

#9721953
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (59297)

On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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