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Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (5722)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

#19517929
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (2430)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by beleria (woman) - United States

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22163) - you deserved it (3211)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (216298)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

#17990354
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (3653)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22159) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (8278)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (2302)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML

#8125309
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22154) - you deserved it (7098)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:33am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

#19297071
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22152) - you deserved it (1836)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm - misc - by vanorav (man) - United States (California)



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