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Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (1747)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16901) - you deserved it (7654)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (1725)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

#19514784
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (3485)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (3028)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16897) - you deserved it (4181)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16897) - you deserved it (53829)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

#20123506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (1249)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:43am - work - by Taco Hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (2090)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (2178)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16895) - you deserved it (8965)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (3681)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (14390)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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