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Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (2845)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (7875)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (1687)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

#7330766
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm - love - by meow (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2477)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

#6887897
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (3572)

On 12/22/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by blumaster04 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (8810)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

#20035629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (1642)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22092) - you deserved it (2657)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nitwit son infected our family computer with some sort of mad bastard virus after getting fooled by the promise of some non-existent Hannah Montana nudes. FML

#20076697
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/17/2012 at 7:25pm - kids - by StupidBerk (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

#15442777
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (62638)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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