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Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, add her new boyfriend to her friends and changed her status to "I'm so happy". FML

#846
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (4818)

On 01/04/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

#3664691
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16994) - you deserved it (63325)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:13am - intimacy - by crazyt446 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16992) - you deserved it (1207)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16992) - you deserved it (47885)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML

#19238495
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (10634)

On 03/08/2012 at 9:30am - love - by hairy (woman) - Serbia

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16991) - you deserved it (1550)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

#19954637
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16989) - you deserved it (5645)

On 07/18/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16988) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (1839)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

#20885867
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (34640)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm - love - by lola1313 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16977) - you deserved it (63013)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States



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