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Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (4105)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
580 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (233731)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (4103)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

#6947126
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20780) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/25/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (2239)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (6154)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

#3055802
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (51522)

On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (7495)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20774) - you deserved it (2235)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (3272)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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