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Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (3207)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

#7105226
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm - work - by Bathroom Problems - France

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (7980)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked out my best friend via facebook graffiti. He then accidentally wrote his rejection as his status instead of on my wall. More people liked his status than the number of friends I have on facebook. FML

#8815037
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (7766)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23494) - you deserved it (4668)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, I got fired over MSN. I wasn't even online at the time. FML

#13694009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (2463)

On 11/02/2010 at 10:16pm - work - by werewolfoflondon (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

#19367861
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (2409)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (5257)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour at work trying to make a tortoise poo. When he finally did, I was so excited and felt pretty triumphant. Then I realized that my job was to make animals drop their load. FML

#13929879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23487) - you deserved it (4542)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by poomaster - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (3700)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States



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