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Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

#13313865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (3947)

On 10/04/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by megmo7 - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24212) - you deserved it (4118)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (7468)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (12010)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

#15029210
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24209) - you deserved it (5104)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Socarates - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (121698)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent the night with my boyfriend as he promised me that his parents and younger brother, who I have yet to meet, were out of town until Tuesday. We were awoken by his mother screaming, telling me that she doesn't want girls in the house corrupting her baby boy. He's 20. FML

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

#1955875
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (43063)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

#6843918
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (2761)

On 12/20/2009 at 8:40am - misc - by B-Rizzle (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dentist dropped my bite plate for x-rays on the ground, picked it up, looked at it intently, took a couple of hairs off, and shoved it back into my mouth. FML

#20068205
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (1888)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:24pm - health - by ledentist - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (1927)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (7934)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia



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