Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

#17379183
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (2913)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a $100 gift card for Victoria's Secret. Suspicious, I checked the receipt he'd left in the bag. Turns out he had bought it during the 2 weeks we were broken up for some other girl who rejected him, so decided to give it to me instead. FML

#19432240
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23941) - you deserved it (6292)

On 04/08/2012 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (3688)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I checked my university financial account to discover I owed them over $1000. The reason? They had apparently given me too much money when I applied for a loan and now want it back. Oh, and I spent my loan money on books and a laptop for school. FML

#7604167
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/27/2010 at 12:25am - money - by boned (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23938) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23940) - you deserved it (8040)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23937) - you deserved it (1880)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

#18805630
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (5431)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (4470)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

#20028136
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (1988)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by spandexwiener (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

#19999670
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (5403)

On 08/03/2012 at 1:24am - love - by DeeGirlMon (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: