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Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (2296)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18984) - you deserved it (7593)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (2852)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

#20060179
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18981) - you deserved it (1498)

On 09/06/2012 at 7:15am - work - by Jessica S. (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (67091)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (2343)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (6598)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

#8473008
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18975) - you deserved it (2575)

On 02/20/2010 at 9:03am - health - by bcoper - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom told me she can't wait for me to turn eighteen so she can turn my room into a place for her to display all her antique glass dolls. FML

#8999294
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (1967)

On 03/11/2010 at 4:07pm - misc - by heartless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (2077)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (6903)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18972) - you deserved it (4485)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)



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