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Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

#2392986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17238) - you deserved it (41178)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by danyelicindereli (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (1602)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (1462)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

#7255890
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17235) - you deserved it (5101)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17232) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17231) - you deserved it (218343)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17232) - you deserved it (44709)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17232) - you deserved it (5905)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (1902)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (5865)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

#740213
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you deserved it (69119)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you deserved it (2783)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (4888)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)



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