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Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

#13823164
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (18686)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:29am - misc - by sandyseashells10 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

#19654364
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (4142)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23854) - you deserved it (2252)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (5583)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a new Ipod to replace my old one which decided to stop working. After purchasing my new nano Ipod, I decided to bang my old Ipod on the desk very hard because it was useless. It started working again. FML

#13221595
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (8652)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

#13716759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (3685)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

#13676187
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23848) - you deserved it (5377)

On 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by evilparents (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML

#20105201
78 comments

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (4953)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

#13105771
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (3905)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by Gabby125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

#13862982
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (6291)

On 11/16/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23835) - you deserved it (2300)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)



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