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Today, I got in trouble for missing my shift. According to my idiot boss, "Crashes don't just happen." FML

#21442988
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26530) - you deserved it (1806)

On 07/17/2015 at 10:59am - work - by yeah - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (6194)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

#13738415
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26528) - you deserved it (9035)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by anonymous_0505 (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I woke up on the coldest morning of the year to discover that the gas fireplace has run out of propane, and there is no water because the pipes are frozen. While trying to locate the frozen pipe, I forgot to let the dog out, and she peed on the carpet. FML

#7124325
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (5152)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:04am - animals - by BW (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (3357)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (4061)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (3766)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (2791)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (4733)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26523) - you deserved it (4477)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (2063)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

#12619171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (12657)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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