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Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (3205)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (6698)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

#19700381
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (4222)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:24pm - misc - by blocked (man) - United States

Today, instead of having my friends come pick me up, my dad drove me over to visit them. He insisted on walking me up to the door, hugging me goodbye, and making sure my friends were appropriate enough to hang out with. I'm in college. FML

#19742208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22389) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/06/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by that girl. - United States

Today, we were drawing self-portraits in school. I'm horrible at art, so I turned to the person next to me and stated that mine looked really ugly. He replied saying, "No, it looks exactly like you." FML

#8557301
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (6006)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:24pm - misc - by quasimodo - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to sneak out of work to get my daughter from her school. Apparently, she had thought that hurling a bowling ball down the stairs during the lunch hour rush would make her cool. In actual fact, it made her expelled. FML

#19704812
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22388) - you deserved it (2466)

On 05/30/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (7702)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (1557)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend made me shave my chest. Afterwards, she said I looked like I was 12. She won't have sex with me until it grows back. FML

#6287629
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (4475)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by thelistman (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (2992)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (5655)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (1523)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)



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