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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (1905)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend doesn't have time to text me back, but he does have time to post an entire Facebook album dedicated to cats. FML

#19865119
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (4413)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:03am - misc - by JJBones (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (6644)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

#15169301
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24890) - you deserved it (8308)

On 03/01/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by thelunarwolf -

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

#9065409
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (4287)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:00am - love - by crapcrapcrap (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (1925)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (7896)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (9126)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me, when I got off he smiled and told me as the doors were closing "the last twelve times was for fun." FML

#13777972
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (2511)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by nameless - United Kingdom

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24879) - you deserved it (8242)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (5534)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)



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