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Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8917) - you deserved it (33320)
On 08/02/2011 at 11:33pm - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8912) - you deserved it (28872)
On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (17642)
On 12/06/2010 at 3:31pm - misc - by Kris - United States
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (40765)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Tyler_Padgett (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8908) - you deserved it (29609)
On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (19200)
On 02/26/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Carmen - United States (Ohio)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (89353)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8901) - you deserved it (58838)
On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8897) - you deserved it (22538)
On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned it's best not to piss off your mom when she's cutting your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8898) - you deserved it (28149)
On 07/27/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by :( - United States (Illinois)
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8896) - you deserved it (36940)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8896) - you deserved it (11226)
On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8896) - you deserved it (12473)
On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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