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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (7318)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, it was my one year anniversary with my boyfriend. We had dinner reservations to an expensive restaurant and planned to see a movie after. At least, we did, until he called to tell me he'd volunteered to work tonight. He won't get off until 2am. FML

#8824480
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (3021)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21294) - you deserved it (6357)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

#6979481
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (5781)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm - kids - by Jen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was auditioning for a talent show. I asked my girlfriend if I could sing to her before I went. She said sure. Thirty seconds in, she got up and mumbled, "You're only going to embarrass yourself." FML

#16128552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21293) - you deserved it (13763)

On 05/11/2011 at 11:19am - misc - by NotChadKrouger -

Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML

#7999702
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (6437)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:04am - work - by fired101 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a choir convention, and everyone sings the national anthem outside their rooms each night. I was not informed and took a shower. My roommates opened the door, yanked me out, and locked me out of the room to sing wearing just a towel. The guy down the hall was video taping it. FML

#19054485
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (3672)

On 02/12/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by TowelSinger (woman) -

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

#8658326
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (6090)

On 02/26/2010 at 4:09am - misc - by ilovecowboys (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (2152)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

#8997978
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21290) - you deserved it (1707)

On 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21286) - you deserved it (3079)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I visited my new doctor for the migraines I've been getting lately. Right from the start, I could have sworn the guy was on drugs. He just listened to my heartbeat, said, "Well Dave, it sounds like gallstones" and said they'll pass naturally. FML

#19793957
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (1536)

On 06/15/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by davav74 (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

#13622305
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21285) - you deserved it (14193)

On 10/28/2010 at 1:05am - intimacy - by unsatisfying (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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