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Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (8445)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

#20104191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

Today, this guy I've been "seeing" for a year said he didn't want to share my birthday with me because he doesn't want us to get serious. FML

#13245354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3424)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24470) - you deserved it (2013)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (17447)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (1907)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

#8716730
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm - animals - by Man vs. Spider - United States

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24463) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

#21394245
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1842)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Devildrake (man) - Australia

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (7348)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (11949)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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