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Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

#20083494
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (1663)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (41402)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (6610)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21148) - you deserved it (1825)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

#13933361
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

#18838483
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (4588)

On 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm - work - by Sheliton (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML

#21164174
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (37846)

On 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm - misc - by charitableidiot (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was admitted to hospital for suspected kidney failure. I called my best friend to let her know I couldn't make it to her birthday party tonight. She seemed to be infinitely more upset that I wouldn't be able to give her a birthday present. FML

#19715534
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21145) - you deserved it (1721)

On 06/01/2012 at 1:58pm - health - by Ashe (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

#19148327
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (4028)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:52pm - misc - by Veryfunny (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

#17621188
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (11378)

On 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

#17757780
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (8335)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:18pm - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML

#20132869
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (2022)

On 10/25/2012 at 3:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (42289)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



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