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Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

#18898180
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22370) - you deserved it (3650)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:42am - work - by communistgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

#18548047
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (6349)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:52pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

#7072214
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2516)

On 01/01/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by nobffs (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (8507)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (15008)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (1750)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

#6351303
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by disheshateme (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (2501)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

#19995362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (1389)

On 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm - work - by kaitlyna15 - United States (Washington)



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