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Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

#8683563
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (3704)

On 02/27/2010 at 5:15am - misc - by livvlynette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (2018)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a friend over. We found my older brother's camera so decided to look through his photos but then we came across photos of him and his girlfriend having sex. We were laughing up until my friend decided to point out that they were having sex on my bed. FML

#6708015
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (6242)

On 12/11/2009 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by badbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1592)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the summer camp I work at had its annual scavenger hunt, wherein the counselors hide and the kids look for us. It was my first year there, so some of my colleagues showed me the "best hiding spot." Two hours later, still undiscovered, I realized they just wanted to get rid of me. FML

#20013942
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (2512)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by nalathelionqueen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I learned the hard way that my foundation shows up under a black light. At a black light party. No one told me until afterwards. Everyone took pictures. FML

#8492061
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (4283)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by makeuuuuup (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after staying in bed all day for a week from sickness, I get up to tell my mom I have terrible back pain and feel extremely dizzy. After curling up on the chair next to her, not being able to keep my head up for too long, she simply stares at me and says, "Can I finish my dinner now?" FML

#13720258
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (4737)

On 11/04/2010 at 10:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

#13234254
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (2032)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:03am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

#13154158
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

#17474756
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (6196)

On 08/14/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (5950)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (11050)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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