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Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

by unluckymiss / 01/24/2010 at 1:03am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

by niccy / 09/09/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

by None / 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed my friends the picture I drew picturing the four of us in a 'zombie apocalypse' setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend, and I'm creeping them out. FML

by Nana / 10/22/2012 at 11:39am / Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the only reason my boyfriend has been coming over to hang out at my house for the past two months is because my little brother has an N64. I have become a third wheel to their mario kart dates. FML

by wowsucks / 01/30/2010 at 4:40am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

by anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2015 at 8:26pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

by Whoops / 09/03/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

by 0ros / 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

by Madison43097 / 09/24/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

by trisha / 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

by notyouagain / 10/03/2010 at 3:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids