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Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (37838)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

#19599121
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (1943)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (6551)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (12691)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (37147)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

#14791942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (6940)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

#21444252
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by creepedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

#21428240
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (13109)

On 06/18/2015 at 7:29pm - money - by fuckstudentloans - United States (California)

Today, I finally found out where my great grandmother's antique handheld mirror disappeared to. According to the headmaster, my eleven year old son has been using it to look up his classmates' dresses at school. FML

#18095275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:25am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

#18913466
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (4643)

On 01/26/2012 at 1:23am - love - by sad life (woman) - United States

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (3108)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (3445)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27879) - you deserved it (1526)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany



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