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Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (3052)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

#19655658
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (6860)

On 05/21/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by morethanredhands -

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (40516)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (8942)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (2340)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

#13846681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (2491)

On 11/14/2010 at 10:43pm - misc - by stutterernotschizophrenic (woman) -

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

#19018819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (2518)

On 02/07/2012 at 3:39pm - misc - by Emily (woman) - United States

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (3843)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (10647)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (4014)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

#8939744
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (4070)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (4695)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)



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