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Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17244) - you deserved it (1794)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17241) - you deserved it (1826)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (1941)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

#2392986
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (41181)

On 05/28/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by danyelicindereli (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (1602)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (1462)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

#7255890
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (5101)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
572 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (218312)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (5905)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17230) - you deserved it (44705)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML

#12636140
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17229) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

#740213
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you deserved it (69116)

On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17227) - you deserved it (5865)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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