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Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

#18358726
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

#18869221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/21/2012 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (39677)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (9500)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (2613)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

#18649240
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25628) - you deserved it (4388)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

#18617176
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (2858)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at my cosmetics job, an elderly lady came up to me asking for a product. I told her we had a smaller size and a larger size for a better deal. She told me she wanted the smaller size because she'd "probably be dead" before she finished that one. I laughed. She was serious. FML

#19764407
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (4859)

On 06/10/2012 at 4:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

#3770
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25624) - you deserved it (5885)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by RollieCollieUSA - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (5099)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25622) - you deserved it (10378)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it was my birthday. I finally got the PS3 I've been asking for, for a long time. When I opened the box, I didn't find a PS3, but a bunch of clothes that my mom put in my brother's PS3 box. FML

#20157168
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25621) - you deserved it (3876)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:02am - misc - by Shauna (woman) - United States (Florida)



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