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Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (2706)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23338) - you deserved it (42316)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (1787)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

#18343732
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Dave B - Reserved

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (5829)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

#19867742
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (2759)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

#19780908
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (4343)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:08am - misc - by pandora (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

#8563536
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (3954)

On 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by notworthit (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23328) - you deserved it (2696)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (3387)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML

#19353440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (4189)

On 03/26/2012 at 8:17pm - work - by ramis182 - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23323) - you deserved it (3931) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)



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