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Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (6415)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (2230)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

#18725965
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (2138)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm - health - by aylla - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (13380)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (4016)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

#14791787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (7229)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (3092)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

#14704290
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/24/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (2954)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML



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