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Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

#18341850
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (1906)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by guy - United States

Today, while talking online with my boyfriend, the conversation turns sexual. He stops responding but I continue with the conversation. Then I get a response: "this is his sister. He fell asleep and I need the computer. I'll tell him you said goodnight, but not that other stuff". FML

#5266141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (7348)

On 09/15/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24460) - you deserved it (11949)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (2064)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

#8716730
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (7695)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:05pm - animals - by Man vs. Spider - United States

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

#17458169
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (4761)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:22am - animals - by Ellencrazee (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24459) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML

#8313100
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (1557)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

#7010601
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24456) - you deserved it (1941)

On 12/29/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Stumanji (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (2092)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML

#19712104
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24455) - you deserved it (1552)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:20pm - work - by Elmoo - Netherlands

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant with my boyfriend and his family. After the meal, we all decided to open our fortune cookies and read them out loud. On mine, it said "You will change your mind many times before settling down." I didn't realize what it meant until after I'd read it to them. FML

#18009557
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24453) - you deserved it (4428)

On 10/17/2011 at 8:16pm - love - by pupitre (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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