Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (3679)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (1605)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (2233)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (3646)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2103)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (2686)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I woke up to my yard covered in snow, Christmas music playing loudly, and my noisy, obnoxious aunt and her three year old twin daughters playing and screaming. They're going to be living with us until after the winter holidays. It's only November 18th. FML

#13889656
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3390)

On 11/18/2010 at 5:33pm - misc - by The Christmas Grinch - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

#18167431
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (3317)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:35pm - health - by Shelbs - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (5372)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23355) - you deserved it (3249)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

#20073639
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (2057)

On 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (4282)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23348) - you deserved it (3663)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: