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Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my manager saying that I won't need to work this weekend. Too bad I already cancelled a family vacation because he threatened to fire me if I didn't work this weekend. FML

#19998359
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/02/2012 at 12:22pm - work - by Pizzaguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

#19543963
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (4024)

On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (4079)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML

#7876927
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (3001)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:53pm - misc - by Ewwwwww - United States

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (38902)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my friend asked why I always smell like a dead animal carcass. I have no idea. FML

#13185794
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (7248)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

#19860530
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (4973)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:53pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23803) - you deserved it (2165)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (4787)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (9215)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML

#6211004
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (7257)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23796) - you deserved it (6689)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)



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