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The all-time greatest FMLs

Seek help

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Aberystwyth

Today, I’ve been depressed and lonely for almost half my life now, and no longer have any friends or family. I realised I often started hallucinating, most of it making me able to see my childhood and me playing when we were kids. This is getting too painful to bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 151

Insane parents, part 38765

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 05:02 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, my mum vented her anger on me by shattering my mouse on the floor, taking my keyboard and nearly ripping out my monitor. At least a spare mouse and the on screen keyboard are better than nothing. This hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 157

Death wish

By nima - 23/02/2021 02:01

Today, my parents went on vacation and told me that it is "absolutely imperative" that I do the dishes while they are gone. Instead, the sink decided to break and nothing will fix it, so I'm currently writing out my will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 130

Chill out, Ross

By sad composer noises - 02/06/2021 20:01

Today, every time I practice my synthesizer, without fail, my stepmom decides to make as much noise as humanly possible. Slamming doors, stomping around in her loudest heels, dropping weights, screaming, you name it. I can hear her through my noise cancelling headphones and I can’t focus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 171

Bittersweet

By Anonymous - 11/07/2021 05:58

Today, I, a woman, realized that only women find me attractive, which is fine, except that I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 103

Ranting and raving

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 22:01

Today, my mom sent me a text message, asking me why I blocked her on Facebook. I didn't. She blocked me, after drinking a bottle of wine. After having a conversation telling me that I need to go to AA and detox. I didn't have anything to drink, and have been limiting alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 110

RBF FML

By isabelle - 25/10/2021 01:59

Today, my mom grounded me for “giving her a dirty look.” I cannot sense or control my own facial expressions, and they almost never match my mood. I was in a good mood when said “dirty look” appeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 136

Out of it

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 04:01

Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 240

IRS FML

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 02:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 269

Inexplicable

By omnomnom - 24/07/2021 06:01

Today, my son asked me if a video of a flame on a computer actually gives off heat like a fireplace. He was serious. He's 17 and inexplicably has straight A's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 155

Criminals

By Jonny - 22/09/2021 20:01

Today, I heard from my little nephews that in school, the father of one of their peers has his arms all covered in tattoos. Their grandpa told my nephews to stay away from people with tattoos, as they were likely criminals and wanting to kidnap children. He doesn't know I have a tattoo in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 193

Pants on fire

By IDontWantToBeHere - 09/06/2021 22:01

Today, my ex told me he wants honesty in a relationship. I agree. It's a shame he felt it was OK to tell lies from the very beginning of the relationship that lasted about 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 120

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 06:00

Today, my job announced we will be working mandatory 7 days a week for the next 6 weeks, maybe longer. There goes my summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 128

Sorry sweaty

By Jennie - 11/05/2023 15:00

Today, I was late for a job interview so I got a taxi to get there. Then the driver got lost and ended up taking me to the wrong address. By the time I got to the right location, I was 20 minutes late and had sweat stains on my shirt. To make matters worse, the interviewer was my ex who I had a messy breakup with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 199

Nitpicking

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 134

The sight or the smell?

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 18:00

Today, my girlfriend said she hates my feet and it’s a real turn off. It’s got to the point where if she sees my feet in bed she won’t sleep in the same bed as me. I hate wearing socks in bed, so not sure how we can resolve this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 165

Helter Skelter

By NeighboRingo - 06/12/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbor is a drummer. He's actually quite good, so I didn't have the heart to report a noise complaint. That is, until he screamed Ringo Starr's infamous line, "I got blisters on my fingers!" at the top of his lungs after playing them too long. I would have laughed if it wasn't 2AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 120

Grooming tips

By love bitten - 14/07/2021 16:01 - Australia

Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 167

Sketchy-looking dude

By NinjaTurtle93 - 17/02/2021 21:30

Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 113

Not a good start

By Anonymous - 03/09/2022 04:00

Today, I accepted that I've fallen in love with someone completely amazing… but they live over 3000 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 203

Get on with it

By HURRY IT UP - 05/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was in line at Chipotle behind the guy ordering for his entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 105

What did I do?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2023 00:02 - Australia - Sydney

Today, like every other day, my older sister hates me, and I have no idea why. She refuses to speak to me and has never provided me with a reason why. She gets along great with my younger sister though and I get to see them having fun together in Facebook posts all the time. I'm heartbroken and she doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 128

Bureaucracy

By FuckUNISA - 25/02/2022 10:00

Today, I've counted the unanswered 29 emails and 91 calls I've made to the university. The accountant at my company submitted the wrong reference number when doing the payment to the university, and now I cannot register for the course. Every time I get a response, I'm asked for info already provided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 91

Don't know, don't care

By All a hoax - 25/10/2020 20:05 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boss still won't believe in climate change, and won't do anything to reduce our carbon footprint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 534

Virtue signalling

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 12:00

Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 172

Fragility

By TooAccepting - 06/01/2021 14:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I explained to my boyfriend that I'm pansexual. I said attracts what me to him is his intelligence and personality, and would still love him whether or not he had a penis. Turns out a 100% straight cis man can prioritise his penis over his intelligence and personality, because he's really offended now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 1 490

Health risk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 08:00 - Belgium

Today, the sciatic nerve in my left leg started twinging at random moments, leaving that leg painful and useless for a few seconds each time. Yesterday, I twisted my right knee and ankle falling over at work. Standing up is terrifying and I don't know which leg to limp on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 103

Slippin' and a slidin'

By Imnotfromhere - 05/03/2022 04:00

Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 145

Boom boom boom

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 132

Ghosts!

By sleepwalkers - 25/05/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, my daughter’s sleepwalking has been so bad that none of us has slept more than a few hours a night in weeks. We took her to a pediatrician, who referred her to a sleep clinic for children that has no openings for 6 months. My boyfriend is convinced my house is haunted, scaring the other kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 138

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 805

You deserved it 1 674

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 066

You deserved it 1 153

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 897

You deserved it 2 824

Today, my boyfriend told me he would be really disappointed if we had kids before we got married, because it would ruin our plans to go to Disney World for our honeymoon. Apparently, kids ruin vacations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 1 202

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 128

Today, I was screamed at by my stepmom for “taking a shit on the carpet.” We have not one but two dogs who are losing their bowel control, and I'm 24 years-old and have never taken a shit anywhere other than the toilet, so I have no idea why she’s blaming me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 112