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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (6551)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

#12234488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3341)

On 07/31/2010 at 10:28pm - love - by XxHinkaixX (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (56074)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

#16097494
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (2893)

On 05/08/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by jackpot - Venezuela

Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML

#21471177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (2090)

On 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm - love - by Jgfenix - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (12931)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I arrived at work, only to find my computer's massive CRT monitor had been smashed up beyond belief. Everyone else has flat-screen monitors, and I'd made no secret of how unfair it is to me. According to my boss, this makes me the obvious culprit, and now I'm suspended. FML

#19473815
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (2629)

On 04/15/2012 at 5:26pm - work - by ... (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (11968)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

#21367094
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27862) - you deserved it (11002)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:15am - work - by soconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)



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