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Today, I send a text message to my ex-boyfriend, who dumped me four months ago, telling him to come back. His answer: "feeling-wise I won't come back to you, but sexually, why not". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8378) - you deserved it (16649)
On 12/26/2008 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Laloose - Sent from mobile version
Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8371) - you deserved it (15973)
On 09/29/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8369) - you deserved it (55590)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8367) - you deserved it (16229)
On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8365) - you deserved it (19390)
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8362) - you deserved it (19934)
On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I ordered take out, and paid with a credit card. The cute cashier gave me the receipt to sign, and under 'tip' I gave a couple of dollars. I realized that I had given too much, crossed it out, and changed it. Unaware she was watching, She then responded, "Did you just lower the tip by $1?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (54264)
On 04/19/2009 at 1:03am - money - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (41265)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (38809)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, during my second day as a receptionist, every time the phone rang I jumped in shock. My co-workers now already think I'm weird. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8360) - you deserved it (20431)
Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (21582)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (60326)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8351) - you deserved it (10659)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:42pm - misc - by higgles15 (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Friday 24 May 2013
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