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Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20871) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a big meeting. Half way through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-worker but I didn't understand what he meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

#7809149
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/02/2010 at 6:25am - work - by paul - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (2850)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (183113)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (4728)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

#19603666
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (1865)

On 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by brannonjames - United States

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML

#7564302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (3052)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (4817)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20865) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

#12195
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (26121)

On 02/06/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by IntimidatorStag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20861) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (3852)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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