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Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (3358)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss sent me home from work because she saw me not checking under my customer's cart to see if they had any hidden groceries. I didn't check because the customer threatened to "kick my ass" if I "accused him of stealing" by checking. FML

#14408064
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20800) - you deserved it (7622)

On 12/31/2010 at 10:51am - work - by bad_luck (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20799) - you deserved it (2343)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

#19673305
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (1440)

On 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm - misc - by Byebye - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20792) - you deserved it (2925)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (1447)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (4664)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (45421)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20788) - you deserved it (9006)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (11587)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)

Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States



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