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Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (3371)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (6222)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

#7109845
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22005) - you deserved it (2123)

On 01/02/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by greatstartto2010 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

#3706736
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (41975)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (48102)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21996) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21996) - you deserved it (2480)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21992) - you deserved it (6131)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had shelves installed using a builder who came highly recommended by my co-worker. Turns out the builder is her friend, who has no actual qualifications or experience as a builder, but 'it's his dream'. I now have a gaping hole in my kitchen where the shelves should be. FML

#18719100
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (4758)

On 01/05/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by neveragain89 (woman) - Australia

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (3201)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



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