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Today, my two favorite things in the world are Pizza and Beer... I now discover I have Celiac and can't have either. FML

#760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (2678)

On 12/30/2008 at 5:41am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

#6622206
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (5719)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:24pm - work - by bleeding (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (34179) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

#18844596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (4236)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (40063)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML

#19758610
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22790) - you deserved it (4212)

On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

#8317685
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22789) - you deserved it (5586)

On 02/15/2010 at 10:10pm - intimacy - by sadsexer23 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

#19858168
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (2081)

On 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML

#7526935
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:15pm - health - by Queasy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22785) - you deserved it (33631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I had finally gotten my dogs to quiet down and my baby to fall asleep. Not thirty seconds later, my neighbor's car alarm went off. They aren't home for the weekend, and the damn alarm has now been blaring for three hours. FML

#19686709
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (1586)

On 05/27/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by shadow1248 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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