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Today, I asked my mom why she drinks. She said she only drinks when she's depressed. My step-dad said she only drinks on the weekend. Those are the days I'm at her house. FML

#17743299
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (2407)

On 09/14/2011 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

#20054806
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (2148)

On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

#7430304
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (5354)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (3177)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

#14093907
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24613) - you deserved it (9830)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML

#19018043
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (18837)

On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

#6821281
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (10535)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24610) - you deserved it (2824)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped at work while putting out a "wet floor" sign to make sure the customers didn't slip. FML

#14270969
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24609) - you deserved it (6131)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:51am - work - by embarrassed - United States

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

#20170659
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24606) - you deserved it (2118)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)



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