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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (2030)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1558)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I discovered how my ex-girlfriend exacted her revenge. Every item of clothing I own now has sequins. FML

#12331416
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (10567)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm - love - by Luke - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (4255)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (3001)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

#8971410
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (8102)

On 03/10/2010 at 1:37pm - money - by MR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (2637)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (10017)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22460) - you deserved it (59101)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

#6844162
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (10162)

On 12/20/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by kat, ACT - United States

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

#7605430
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (7728)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by garage - Sent from mobile version

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (6733)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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