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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (5058)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (8090)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

#19090033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26398) - you deserved it (2507)

On 02/15/2012 at 10:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (2089)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

#21328812
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (7319)

On 01/01/2015 at 6:02pm - misc - by CK95 - United States

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (8498)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

#14671104
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (2421)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:05am - misc - by meeeoow (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

#19026330
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous -

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (2471)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26395) - you deserved it (2320)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a car backed into mine. I thought that was pretty bad, until another car backed into me right after I'd finished taking the first guy's info. FML

#17701558
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (1802)

On 09/09/2011 at 12:51am - misc - by Mark - United States (Washington)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (1971)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

#6151203
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by angry (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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