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Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25007) - you deserved it (9548)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (1819)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was in my hotel room. I picked up an expensive wine from the mini fridge, just to see what it is. I heard a mechanical "bling". I was charged for it. Then, I tried to put it back, only to hear another "bling". I was charged twice for expensive wine that I won't even drink. FML

#13206700
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (9746)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:29am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (43329)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

#7401501
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24998) - you deserved it (4290)

On 01/17/2010 at 4:08pm - misc - by pumpkinbutt - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

#3335401
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (43106)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

#1913
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (3975)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:00pm - love - by pikachu - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

#8243991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24993) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:19am - intimacy - by CheatedOn (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (40922)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (8059)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

#3862
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

#5392690
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (3637)

On 09/21/2009 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by charlieday (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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