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Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (47728)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21220) - you deserved it (32988)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

#14230878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (9094)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:14am - work - by iswearicandrive (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

#13458555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:40pm - misc - by nick92 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (69333)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21210) - you deserved it (5650)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (71819)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21208) - you deserved it (5837)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

#13050784
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21206) - you deserved it (8648)

On 09/14/2010 at 5:46pm - misc - by miss Suzanne - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you deserved it (5431)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

#12989676
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:13pm - health - by moncheri1314 - Sent from mobile version

Today, we found out where our daughter had been hiding her crayons. We also found out why our stereo stopped working. FML

#18619223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21201) - you deserved it (2538)

On 12/26/2011 at 9:24pm - kids - by Peter - United States (Massachusetts)



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