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Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

#14423827
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25437) - you deserved it (3844)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25437) - you deserved it (3012)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (6821)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML

#14029535
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (6415)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

#18793920
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (8381)

On 01/13/2012 at 7:45am - love - by Jessch15 - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (46199)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25434) - you deserved it (11880)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (5190)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

#21425187
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (1763)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I wrote a poem and was very proud of it. I showed it to my mom. After reading it, her response was, "What is this shit?" FML

#14739407
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (5336)

On 01/28/2011 at 1:21am - misc - by snappyPi -

Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML

#19673132
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (2230)

On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25431) - you deserved it (13380)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (6101)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)



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