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Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (7570)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23431) - you deserved it (5963)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (4364)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (2673)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

#18253650
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (6913)

On 11/15/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when people in my apartment complex warn their kids about strangers, they use me as the example. FML

#19348901
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (3559)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by iamnotalawyer (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (3734)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (4911)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23415) - you deserved it (5799)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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