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Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21647) - you deserved it (2192)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (8737)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

#19769607
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (2745)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:18am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (2255)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML

#20533106
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (7119)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML

#407679
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (57760)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21640) - you deserved it (3164)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a desperate bid to avoid going to the doctor, my young son ran into and hid inside a cactus garden. I had to drag him out. FML

#17758284
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (2445)

On 09/16/2011 at 3:26pm - kids - by Chandler - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (17856)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21639) - you deserved it (7842)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)



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