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Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8305) - you deserved it (35415)
On 06/12/2011 at 10:50pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (16263)
On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8302) - you deserved it (22781)
On 05/08/2011 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (36956)
On 07/02/2011 at 4:27am - misc - by camzzz - United States (Washington)
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8298) - you deserved it (35057)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8298) - you deserved it (22227)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8297) - you deserved it (14749)
On 07/23/2012 at 10:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8296) - you deserved it (19729)
On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I thought it would be funny to tickle my daughter's foot, which she hates. One bloody nose, multiple scratches and 4 toe-shaped bruises later, she's the one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8293) - you deserved it (39312)
On 04/18/2011 at 4:09am - kids - by B (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (20514)
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (10132)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8291) - you deserved it (14055)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8288) - you deserved it (25976)
On 09/16/2009 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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