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Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22036) - you deserved it (1242)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (7269)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (5184)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

#17813081
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (1961)

On 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm - misc - by jccwell - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

#13520116
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22031) - you deserved it (2493)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22030) - you deserved it (5325)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

#19699245
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22027) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/29/2012 at 2:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

#7199308
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (9225)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (5020)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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