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Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (1781)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (1476)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (26014)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (1633)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (5299)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21309) - you deserved it (2108)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (2704)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML

#6788841
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (8727)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took some friends out to the woods to show them a natural spring. I explained to them that the water bubbles up from under ground, and that it's clean and tasty. I bent down and drank a few hefty handfuls only to look up and see a dead raccoon floating near me. FML

#12911536
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21304) - you deserved it (20947)

On 09/05/2010 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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