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Today, I was patting my kitten who was asleep underneath the blanket on my lap. My roommate walked in and gave me disgusted look. She thought I was playing with myself. FML

#13624722
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (5792)

On 10/28/2010 at 8:00am - intimacy - by djoe - Australia (South Australia)

Today, at work, a customer asked for my number. When I declined, he made a huge scene, shouting and scaring other customers. He tipped me seven cents. FML

#17980865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (2165)

On 10/14/2011 at 5:35am - work - by scribbler8 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (3325)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22097) - you deserved it (3543)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (5144)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22093) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22092) - you deserved it (7871)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (6091)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while getting on the subway, I tripped over the gap between the train and the platform. My flip-flop caught on the edge, and fell into the gap. I had to walk home with one flip-flop. FML

#12833502
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (8590)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by grossfoot (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (9954)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

#7297825
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22090) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:27am - kids - by Dr_Dolittle (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (3714)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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