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Today, I had to sell my only means of transportation, my 92 Chrysler Lebaron to a junking company because the transmission blew. When the guy finally got there, I had to shovel out the 5 feet of snow around my car, help him push it, and help him hook it up. Then his dog bit me. I only got $100. FML

#8791575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (2288)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:06am - animals - by MetalAtlas (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I remembered my mom got her carpet cleaned and to be careful while she was at work. To be nice, I vacuumed the whole house. Feeling proud of myself, I got a drink and went upstairs. I tripped and spilled red Kool-Aid all over the floor. FML

#6976718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (12394)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:25pm - misc - by xMiSS_CuTiEx (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (13845)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20906) - you deserved it (2397)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (4162)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (4296)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (6384)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (127313)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (16496)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (7636)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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