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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (2648)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

#6989281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (11610)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:35am - work - by facepalm (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, when the Taco Bell I'd eaten for lunch came back up for round two. Undigested rice and beans got stuck in his hair. FML

#7523418
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (6879)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Aphrodite - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

#6116974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (4484)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the girl I had a crush on for the past few months called me and wanted to tell me something. Excited, I agreed and we went out to dinner. She wanted to tell me she had been secretly seeing 'someone' for the past six months. FML

#6733753
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (3273)

On 12/13/2009 at 2:36am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was overdrawn $15 at the bank. I paid in my last $80 in cash, only for them to inform me that I've been slapped with $90 in overdraft fees. FML

#15090676
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (5781)

On 02/23/2011 at 1:53pm - money - by witt75 - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (5449)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

#8654882
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (3789)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by single now - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

#13052349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (4895)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

#13976470
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (4586)

On 11/25/2010 at 4:01pm - misc - by El Camino (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (4705)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

#7163475
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (6208)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm - misc - by SplashOuch (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that when you are sitting on a full bench at a bus stop, some crazy person will come sit on you. FML

#18857605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:46pm - misc - by BadassRumbleroar - Canada (British Columbia)



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