Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (2976)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML

#21338193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (12667)

On 01/16/2015 at 10:41am - love - by Marfo101 (man) - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I finally get to go home after a 16 day training event in Colorado. The plane has been sitting in the runway for over three hours due to lightning storms and we're not allowed to leave. We've spent more time on the ground waiting than the flight itself would take. FML

#16375097
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (3133)

On 05/27/2011 at 5:13pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

#19786786
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (2497)

On 06/14/2012 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (2498)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

#14847489
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (3207)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:58am - misc - by ohhhjaymo13 - United States

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

#19469757
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (6299)

On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (9731)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

#20052963
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (1817)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (7776)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (9466)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

#19607657
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27889) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: