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Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

#18831926
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

#19528006
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (1902)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm - work - by A Henderson (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (3750)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (9467)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went home, where I live alone, from my dorm room at my university. The only Christmas cards I had received were addressed to the person that lived there before me. FML

#6916745
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (2033)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by LonelySanta (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22773) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, after dieting, rigorous exercising and a major lifestyle change, I have finally reached my fitness goal. My parents were more excited about my 17-year-old brother getting to 3rd base with his girlfriend. FML

#19670300
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22771) - you deserved it (2611)

On 05/23/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22772) - you deserved it (1534)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (6747)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (4337)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, my cheating, psycho asscricket of an ex texted me and asked me back out. I said no, and didn't think any more of it, at least until an hour later, when I looked out my window, only to see him smearing a bag of dog crap all over my porch. FML

#20020463
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (1854)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:02am - love - by WELLFUCKYOUTOO (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (7207)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)



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