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Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

#13818432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21939) - you deserved it (13161)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by penguins (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21935) - you deserved it (2835)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (53073)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, the office tough guy learned how to use the fire extinguisher. On me. I wasn't on fire. FML

#18902746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (2129)

On 01/24/2012 at 9:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

#20089963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (3541)

On 09/26/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by wickedbeauty333 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (12249)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (2412)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that the only reason my ex husband calls my son anymore, is to ask him to send him things on Facebook. FML

#9077229
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (2057)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:14pm - kids - by mommy - United States

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (6567)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

#18604645
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (6474)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

#19972193
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21924) - you deserved it (1514)

On 07/22/2012 at 1:04am - work - by missingphoneproblems (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

#17941193
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21919) - you deserved it (12094)

On 10/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by glitterzebra - United States (Colorado)



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