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Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (1926)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (26015)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (3129)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (2553)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21317) - you deserved it (1477)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1782)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (1633)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML

#20143987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21313) - you deserved it (2285)

On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)



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