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Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (160886)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

#6599049
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (2990)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3859)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (13988)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

#13052349
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (5219)

On 09/14/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

#18598944
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26607) - you deserved it (5800)

On 12/24/2011 at 2:42pm - love - by Skyhopee - United States

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (2328)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

#19350578
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (6148)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by stupdude3 (man) - United States

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (1691)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26595) - you deserved it (4250)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

#8886558
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26593) - you deserved it (1901)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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