Smoking, Insects and Fear: Creepy Crawly

Creepy Crawly

By chelseasdead - 04/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 131

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Same thing different taste

By browngirl - 29/09/2013 04:16 - Canada - Vernon

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 853

You deserved it 4 958

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Tracy

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 006

You deserved it 3 210

By Kristen Duncan - 01/08/2017 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I just drank a sip of beer and felt something so I spit it out... It was an earwig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 542

You deserved it 424

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 300

By scarred4life - 27/04/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 19 088

By GrahamCracker - 21/05/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 662

You deserved it 8 933

By Shitsuo01 - 30/12/2016 01:56 - United States - Douglasville

Today, I noticed a small bite on my arm. I couldn't figure out what it came from until I saw a small insect crawling out of my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 376

You deserved it 380

By ewwww - 26/05/2013 17:55 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 4 311

Hello little dude

By Anonymous - 19/05/2012 22:54 - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 566

You deserved it 2 861

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

Sweetie 5

Monday 5 July 2021 1:54

Ew!!!

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Sweetie 5

Monday 5 July 2021 1:54

Ew!!!

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The Top

Today, my roommate started packing up for when we move out in August. Thirty boxes later, I realized she's leaving me with only a dishtowel and a skillet while she traipses through Europe for the summer. She even packed the silverware. And the curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 359

You deserved it 476

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 883

Today, I didn't realise that after leaving my ex for someone else that I would need to be a therapist for all of his friends. He was such a garbage human being that he not only drove his friends away, but they all contacted me because I was the only one who "truly understood" how self-absorbed he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 145

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 031

You deserved it 8 217

Today, during gym class, I wanted to show off in front of my classmates by doing a headstand in the middle of the gym. I wanted to hold the position, except my shirt came out of my pants and exposed my belly and breasts to all my classmates. Everyone burst out laughing. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 917

Today, I was laughing at the new granite stool sculpture our work put in the office garden. I said to my colleagues for a laugh that I'd be the first to sit on it. Turns out it was a bird bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 4 468

Today, my husband was 45 minutes late to our wedding reception. Later, when I asked him why, he said, "I was playing Legend of Zelda and had to finish my quest." He thinks this is an eligible excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 039

You deserved it 973

Creepy Crawly

Same thing different taste

Fancy a pint?

Hello little dude

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