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Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

#17794305
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (8753)

On 09/21/2011 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML

#19705989
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (2268)

On 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by Aw522 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (6128)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash a KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

#10166473
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (15788)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:42pm - misc - by Michelle (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

#15621368
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (3816)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:41pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

#20039086
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (9680)

On 08/24/2012 at 9:53am - intimacy - by chunkymonkey (woman) - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (19408)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (12683)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

#19385942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (3040)

On 04/01/2012 at 12:32am - work - by Kristat (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

#18358726
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (39670)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

#18869221
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (3617)

On 01/21/2012 at 9:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25629) - you deserved it (9500)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)



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