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Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

#13800215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:27am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML

#14528357
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24990) - you deserved it (5070)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:38am - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

#17889211
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24989) - you deserved it (7231)

On 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm - love - by bastard magnet - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

#18487719
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (2266)

On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (2175)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

#18600051
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (1975)

On 12/24/2011 at 5:05pm - health - by AllergyRidden - United States (California)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (1711)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (4580)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

#13268131
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24982) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told a customer that we don't do refunds. He responded by throwing his wallet at my face and accusing me of stealing it. FML

#19187266
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (2117)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:47am - work - by wallets - United States

Today, to prevent a fistfight at work, I had to mediate a contested debate between two coworkers on what was evidently a very touchy subject: Which is better, the orange creamsicle or the ice cream sandwich? I was the only one to get in trouble for wasting company time. FML

#14917539
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (4277)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:31am - work - by geoduck - United States

Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML

#17965886
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (5106)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by ItaliczZz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (2888)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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