Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21240) - you deserved it (54926)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (3723)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21236) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

#12470997
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (42949)

On 08/12/2010 at 2:53am - work - by malos - United States

Today, I paid $70 to learn from the vet that my cat doesn't have a UTI, he's just developed a fetish for peeing on plastic bags. FML

#18034258
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML

#21173245
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (42962)

On 06/13/2014 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - Afghanistan (Kabol)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (4304)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

#20870423
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (42359)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by howprofessional (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

#14230878
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (9094)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:14am - work - by iswearicandrive (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (32990)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (47732)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21218) - you deserved it (5650)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: