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Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (5089)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (8103)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

#19678152
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21323) - you deserved it (2553)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar

Today, my girlfriend and I were going through some troubles in our relationship, and she said to me, "No offense, but I really hope no other relationship I have in the future will be like this one." Some offense taken. FML

#20141147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/31/2012 at 12:22am - love - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to X-ray an 81 year old lady. The clothes she was wearing would show up on the X-ray so I had to make her change into a gown. I found out the hard way that 81 year olds still go commando. FML

#8369327
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:50am - work - by ugamayne - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

#19923772
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21320) - you deserved it (5641)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:54pm - animals - by cutup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

#12641347
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (26017)

On 08/20/2010 at 5:51am - intimacy - by pathetic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

#19678491
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (1782)

On 05/25/2012 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

#13936248
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (3594)

On 11/22/2010 at 11:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (5300)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

#8675398
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/26/2010 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (1477)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)



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