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Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML

#20153727
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (6541)

On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (1392)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I drank a beer that I thought was mine, it wasn't and someone had put out their cigarette in it. FML

#757
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (7454)

On 11/15/2008 at 10:36pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

#7336646
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you deserved it (4224)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

Today, my mom put me in charge of her business's Facebook. Later, I was doing homework and took a Facebook break, changing my status to "So fucking boring." I'd forgotten to log out of the business account. FML

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (5738)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17314) - you deserved it (10270)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

#19481808
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (1870)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:47pm - animals - by booearns (woman) - United States

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17312) - you deserved it (50492)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

#19563057
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (6095)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17309) - you deserved it (2758)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, my husband was looking at a bariatric surgery website and asked him what he was reading. He said, "Oh, your anniversary gift. Surprise!" He wasn't kidding. He got mad when I politely declined his gift, then angrily said "You know, it really hurts when you don't like the things I get you." FML

#13794199
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (3726)

On 11/10/2010 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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