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Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

#5698254
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (12690)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:57am - animals - by ScaryOldMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

#19226157
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (2082)

On 03/06/2012 at 6:53am - health - by beernuts - United States

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (1675)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

#21453385
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (1866)

On 08/08/2015 at 2:23am - love - by single (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27873) - you deserved it (1525)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany

Today, I sent a guy that I like a lot a picture of myself, I got all dressed up sexy and did my make-up. He sent me a reply saying "your cat is fat". FML

#5809
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27874) - you deserved it (6551)

On 02/02/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (56074)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27868) - you deserved it (1642)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend, when I had to go pee. Halfway down the aisle, I tripped, screamed, and fell face-first into some guy. My boyfriend is now accusing me of cheating and "flirting" with every man I see. FML

#19436795
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/09/2012 at 2:18pm - love - by missclitter - United States

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML

#14459549
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27864) - you deserved it (12931)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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