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Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

#19997037
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (15010)

On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

#6933705
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21584) - you deserved it (3390)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was holding on to a shirt that I planned on buying, when an elderly man bumped into me. The shirt fell out of my hand, and slid just out the door. I went to the counter to explain what happened. Everyone accused me of trying to steal it anyway. FML

#13757494
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21585) - you deserved it (2602)

On 11/07/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Telinaa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (8408)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (2482)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (3018)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (2891)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (6370)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

#17706301
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (3825)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:48pm - love - by Just me (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML

#20023605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (1506)

On 08/16/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by scarredforlife - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

#10656263
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (4615)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML

#13270090
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (2539)

On 09/30/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Washington)



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