anaizidrovo

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newark, United States
36 years-old
Saturday 28 April 1990
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About Anaizidrovo

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Anaizidrovo's favorite FMLs

So, here's the thing…

By HairyBoobs - 05/11/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 442

You deserved it 6 900

What? WHAT?

By Shannon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two month-old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww, your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 045

You deserved it 5 385

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:24 - United States

Today, my new girlfriend was telling me how she's attracted to "All-American" looking guys. Tall, manly body, handsome face. Then she says, "But it's ok, you're cute too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 091

You deserved it 3 237

Good one, thanks

By MarkTheShark - 12/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 931

You deserved it 6 870

News to me

By RBEE - 12/12/2009 18:02 - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 836

You deserved it 4 199

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 045

You deserved it 6 447

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 451

You deserved it 3 675

By porkythighs - 27/12/2009 14:19 - Singapore

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 376

You deserved it 7 795

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 455

You deserved it 5 590

By enjoy - 13/10/2008 08:30

Today, I lost my cell phone. But found it again! And then dropped it in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 378

You deserved it 23 111

By USSEYL - 26/11/2008 04:43 - United Kingdom

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 128

You deserved it 27 513

By hell! - 02/12/2008 08:27 - France

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 206

You deserved it 7 004

By Noname - 22/01/2009 23:27 - Canada

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 815

You deserved it 10 227

By nicknack22 - 01/02/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 770

You deserved it 5 964

I'm coming !

By ally - 03/02/2009 19:34 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 275

You deserved it 8 534

By TGIkaty - 10/02/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 716

You deserved it 3 488

By thegoldenboy3 - 12/02/2009 12:14 - Spain

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 317

You deserved it 14 367

Bad timing

By dammit_ - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked, "What's up lovebirds?" Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 806

You deserved it 10 415

By mags - 16/02/2009 15:05 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said, "See you in a decade." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 445

You deserved it 6 823

By Noname - 18/02/2009 02:52 - United States

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 808

You deserved it 3 698