secretlynormal

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Comments

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London, United Kingdom
29 years-old
Friday 13 December 1996
In a relationship

About Secretlynormal

I don't know what to put here. I guess there isn't much more to say about me. FML.

Secretlynormal - Followers

Secretlynormal - Followed

Secretlynormal's page visits

lovers5201

Hugged!

Secretlynormal's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The list of badges to find

Secretlynormal's favorite FMLs

Devious

By rachel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 039

You deserved it 3 917

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 21:30 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 705

You deserved it 3 835

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 00:04 - United States - Reno

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 411

You deserved it 4 403

Ewwwwww

By ew. - 11/08/2013 13:09 - United States - Titusville

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "EW". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 872

You deserved it 4 642

By DandoisFLAT - 12/08/2013 02:42 - United States - Milford

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 116

You deserved it 3 296

DandoisFLAT tells us more.

DandoisFLAT 10

Monday 12 August 2013 19:43

Hey, just wanted to inform everyone that yes, she is obviously my ex-girlfriend now and that i'm feeling fine. I was actually out skateboarding with some friends when i got the texts from her, and once i showed them, they made me feel a lot better. We were actually dating for a year and almost two months, but i never thought she would end it like that. So between my friends and the support from you guys i realized that i deserved better then her and i'll be more careful next time in choosing a partner. Thanks guys :)

Dead zone

By The Corner Of Death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 143

By MarissaKayleen - 12/08/2013 10:06 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 221

You deserved it 4 286

MarissaKayleen tells us more.

MarissaKayleen 9

Tuesday 13 August 2013 8:11

Haha! I love the comments! I just want to let everyone know, I am not making fun of him or bashing him. I love how he is taking this situation. He seriously is the best :)

Not a sponsored post

By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 645

You deserved it 3 640

By idonteven - 12/08/2013 20:04 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 060

You deserved it 4 487

Keep cool

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Denver

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm… Your house is on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 569

You deserved it 2 945

Awkward family gatherings

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:01 - United States - Bensenville

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 3 467

First and last date

By hairless by death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 663

You deserved it 4 287

Gullible

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 000

You deserved it 5 509

By What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 089

You deserved it 3 572

Not so smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 09:11 - United States - Sanford

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 355

You deserved it 6 870

By YayItsYasmine - 14/08/2013 16:48 - Austria - Trebesing

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 203

You deserved it 4 347

YayItsYasmine tells us more.

YayItsYasmine 11

Thursday 15 August 2013 10:50

Hey! I got another lemon in a box today, with the same note. But this time, the "Date me" was in caps and there was drawn a smiley on the lemon. I'm kinda getting creeped out, and i still haven't figured out who made it.

Betrayal

By sisterly love - 14/08/2013 21:13 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 236

You deserved it 4 167

By PapaMoti - 15/08/2013 08:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 013

You deserved it 3 955

PapaMoti tells us more.

PapaMoti 21

Sunday 18 August 2013 4:29

Thanks for all the helpful comments! As to what happened next, security was called and we ended up looking at the camera footage which proved that I didn't steal the shirt. The manager was humiliated and apologized, but either way I am not going to be shopping from that store ever again.

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 043

You deserved it 3 465

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 760

You deserved it 8 487