secretlynormal

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London, United Kingdom
29 years-old
Friday 13 December 1996
In a relationship

About Secretlynormal

I don't know what to put here. I guess there isn't much more to say about me. FML.

Secretlynormal - Followers

Secretlynormal - Followed

Secretlynormal's page visits

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Secretlynormal's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

My diary is a collector's item

There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

Tell us what happened next

You've commented on an FML that you sent in

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The list of badges to find

Secretlynormal's favorite FMLs

By Elcam - 16/10/2013 08:22 - Belgium

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 860

You deserved it 5 645

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 151

You deserved it 7 110

By SaveMeTeddy - 16/10/2013 18:48 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 127

You deserved it 16 270

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 22:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 849

You deserved it 4 931

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 430

You deserved it 3 546

By Anonymous - 19/10/2013 18:48 - Belize - Belize City

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 3 670

By oh... - 20/10/2013 20:34 - United States - Springfield

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 434

You deserved it 3 612

Boom boom

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 337

You deserved it 3 188

Wham! Bam! Thank You Ma'am

By IamAflyingCat - 22/10/2013 09:12 - United States

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 721

You deserved it 5 375

By Anonymous - 23/10/2013 14:04 - United States - Midlothian

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 852

You deserved it 5 345

Shifty

By Zkroger - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 701

You deserved it 5 135

By random - 23/10/2013 22:41 - United States - Amarillo

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 194

You deserved it 2 610

Snek

By soon to be divorced - 24/10/2013 20:06 - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 472

You deserved it 4 121

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 21:39 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 701

You deserved it 3 795

By Jane M - 25/10/2013 23:20 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 3 757

By mn_shr - 26/10/2013 01:25 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 148

You deserved it 2 994

mn_shr tells us more.

mn_shr 22

Saturday 26 October 2013 20:51

Hello everyone, OP here. I feel like I need to clear something up, and that's living in the Middle East does not mean I am from the Middle East. I repeat, not from Qatar. Also, Muslim or otherwise, Arab girls have the complete freedom to refuse marriage as they see fit. Not that there aren't exceptions to that, but for the most part girls are far more autonomous nowadays. To whoever looked up stuff on the internet, I'd like to say for a fact that it is 100% untrue. To clear up my situation, I'd like to point out I'm a very ritualistic person and my birthday means a lot to me. Seeing as my mother and I have never gotten along, and frankly don't like each other very much, her way to sabotage my birthday was to bribe this Sir Asshole McLoser to marry me. I've made my disinterest very clear so for those rooting that I give it a shot, please don't. I'm turning 23 and I think I'm going to wait a few years before considering resorting to arranged courtships and the like. Thanks for whoever wished me a happy birthday! P.S. Mr. Bastard, I've always had a thing for your sense of humor, I'm sure we could make something work.