scrtasnman13

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About Scrtasnman13

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Scrtasnman13's favorite FMLs

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 654

You deserved it 90 963

By screewit - 20/02/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 816

You deserved it 4 978

By PicturePerfect - 02/03/2009 21:33 - Canada

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 1 035

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 2 006

By twit - 16/03/2009 01:14 - United States

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237 752

You deserved it 39 156

Who?

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258 146

You deserved it 17 770

By Tourist - 26/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 979

You deserved it 70 174

akd_rocks tells us more.

akd_rocks 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 2:23

Okay I'm the person that wrote this, I wrote it earlier today before I got my account and its one hundered percent true we talked about family we exchanged pics but i had never met him before he was my moms sisters son adn i have never met that part of my family because my mom was disowned for marrying my dad. his last name was my moms maiden name so i didnt think anything of it especially since its a common last name, SMITH. soo yes it may seem ridiculous but its real and awful