The Top

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By dj163 - 16/09/2009 08:25 - Australia

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 999

You deserved it 3 457

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 3 833

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 508

You deserved it 6 980

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 969

You deserved it 47 350

Shoulda woulda coulda

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 11:00

Today, I did the math: back at college in 2011, I had a $20,000+ reimbursement from my school. If I had invested even half my cash into Bitcoin then ($2.50), I would be worth over $120,000,000. Instead, I said, "Fuck that! This is stupid", and am now over $200,000 in student loan debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 356

Come clean

By Anonymous - 20/12/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, It's been a week since I asked out the girl I like. We knew each other as kids, and reconnected. We get along perfectly, understand each other's humor, and have similar hobbies, as well as having been on a few dates. She said we can only be friends. She won't stop texting me "What's wrong?" asking to hang out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 485

By seriously though - 22/02/2014 05:48 - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 921

You deserved it 3 582

By Alex - 07/03/2012 00:34 - United States

Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 619

You deserved it 2 107

Love is love, but come on…

By nen_00 - 14/09/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 269

You deserved it 44 250

Kevin can **** himself

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 00:01

Today, my husband was two hours late from picking up my daughter from practice. I called his cell once to check if they were alright. When they finally arrived, he was annoyed at me for "controlling" him. He then pushed his sweaty shirt in my face to take in his "musty scent". When I refused, he got mad again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 153

By toxic waste - 12/02/2013 04:18 - United States - Tonawanda

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 119

You deserved it 7 261

Seething

By Roy - 26/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Leavenworth

Today, a guy I genuinely hate more than anyone else in my life complimented my new haircut. I had to thank him or I'd be yelled at by my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 232

Rolling toilet

By Urinal Fresh - 02/03/2012 10:19 - Australia

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 214

You deserved it 4 380

By ohmylantis - 04/05/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 257

You deserved it 3 738

By Fairy31 - 01/03/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 184

You deserved it 2 309

Good boy

By fall3nrain - 11/09/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 830

You deserved it 7 186

By kimosabe - 02/03/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, at work a woman came up to the check out counter and when I greeted her she said "oh honey, you are so beautiful!" I immediately smiled and thanked her, then she looked at me and said "oh, not you." and then pointed to her ear. She was on her bluetooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 962

You deserved it 6 763

Now hiring. Please.

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 11:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, have a Master’s degree in chemistry and I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 242

By refticon - 06/02/2013 08:45 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 087

You deserved it 3 252

refticon tells us more.

refticon 31

Wednesday 25 February 2015 20:27

Hi guys, OP here. I just wanted you to know I've laughed plenty of times over the years remembering your replies ! Here's to you ! Grtz Alex

By gahdamnit - 28/05/2010 13:18 - Australia

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 630

You deserved it 25 836

By peter - 11/09/2009 04:33 - Indonesia

Today, it's my birthday. I'm a pastry chef by profession. Not only did my family buy a cake from my bakery, I had to make it myself and inscribe it with 'Happy Birthday Dad'. The worst part is, they asked money from me to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 819

You deserved it 3 003

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 322

You deserved it 9 517

By Tara - 01/05/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 509

You deserved it 5 659

By Aliya - 01/03/2009 14:14 - United States

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 297

You deserved it 6 947

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 08:30

Today, I escaped an abusive relationship, only for him to manipulate my family into thinking i’m crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 129

By so bored -__- - 25/02/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 627

You deserved it 31 222

By whatsername92 - 01/02/2013 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 578

You deserved it 4 573

By humanalarmclock - 21/05/2010 04:40 - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend only asks me to come spend the night when he needs me to wake him up in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 440

You deserved it 4 003

Why Change a Perfectly Good System?

By queenofthegypsys - 01/03/2020 23:00

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 961

Stop doing this

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 22:01

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 93

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The Top

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Halfway through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 159

You deserved it 3 561

Today, it was my first big time art show. To celebrate I went out to lunch with some people whose work was also there. When we got back, police were everywhere. Someone had broken in and stolen all of the art. All except mine. Even burglars don't want my art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 807

You deserved it 5 311

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 13 864

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 427 412

You deserved it 66 984

Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 148

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 383