Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife tried to forbid me from going to the gym anymore because in public she looks fat stood next to me and it’s embarrassing. She picked me up from the gym yesterday and saw all the “thin gym sluts” I prefer to spend my time with instead of her. God, I’m sick of her lazy jealous BS. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML
Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
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Top comments
illmatic2 16
Well is she fat? If she is that insecure about her weight then she probably should go to they gym.
Jeffo193 13
Sucks for you dude but you've just reminded me that i need to go to the gym, thanks!
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Comments (48)
Jeffo193 13
Sucks for you dude but you've just reminded me that i need to go to the gym, thanks!
MelTheGreat 23
And you've just reminded me that I should go to the gym, but I've taken the low road and decided to eat a gallon of ice cream.
GoodLookingGeese 10
In Soviet Russia the Ice Cream reminds you to go to the gym.. Oh wait! It really makes sense now, doesn't it?
illmatic2 16
Well is she fat? If she is that insecure about her weight then she probably should go to they gym.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Or she's just mistakenly self conscious about her weight like many people and needs to relax a bit.
biggestfan23 11
#29 Or maybe she thinks she's "thick" not fat. A lot of women make that mistake as well
weveevee 3
Or maybe she's one, like many many women, who claim to be fat but actually aren't.
KaiserSD 8
Or, maybe she's just a woman, and blows everything out of proportion, being subconsciously self-conscious about her body for no good damn reason, and is lashing out because she has no chocolate in the house. Women are insane, the sooner men realize this, the sooner the species of stupid dies off.
biggestfan23 11
#36 well the fact that this is in the United States and we have an obesity epidemic then it's hard to believe that
gribbles 12
Or maybe she's one of these girls who's actually fat but says she's "thick"
X_Codes 11
@42 - Because determining how healthy you are simply by your height and weight is so amazingly accurate that we should all strive to be exactly the same.
Jeffo193 13
Also, maybe your girlfriend overreacting like this is due to a poor self image and lack of confidence...maybe you could see if there's any way you could help her with that?
Kallian_fml 21
You should have told her its because you're insecure about your own weight, and you needed some support. Screaming avoided.
outoftown 27
Take up tennis. Reverse spin really does work there, too.
Doortje 30
Well she certainly is hormonal. Or maybe she's just a bitch.
xAttackAttackx 25
Or she's sensitive about her weight...and a bit crazy.
laya_fml 26
How did you ask? There's a difference between "Hey. Want to go to the gym with me?" and "Yo fattie. Get yo fat butt to the gym with me."
EsotericBrent 29
I hear the latter works tremendously well.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I personally would have gone with "Hey, I am gonna go to the gym. Do you wanna go to the gym? Because I fear if I go alone I will be unable to remain motivated."
DrunkButterfly 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh my god why are so many girls so crazy?? I blame video games. :)
Catkam623 27
Dunno, but it's not like I'm getting any, hence how I work the wangst out of my system by making moronic comments online, in a pitiful and ultimately vain attempt to feel more masculine. But enough about me. Nice hair.
rattusrattus 19
Clichéd misogyny followed by a non sequitur. Truly one of the finest FML comments I've ever seen.
emeraldisle 30
I'm a girl and I play video games and I consider myself pretty sane.
GracesDelirium 9
How is it that someone always finds a way to play video games? *plays gta into the wee hours of the night*
EsotericBrent 29
7 should change her name to Jack Thompson. Anyone still remember that guy? Heard he got disbarred
perdix 31
#7, I blame primarily on the lack of access to mental health services in this country. After that, I blame it on the rain, the bossa nova, Rio, and the alcohol.
Shmatterhorn 38
Not videogames, but I would blame all of those pseudo fitness magazines I see at the grocery stores.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
@28 That is not a comfort. Most crazy people consider themselves sane.
emeraldisle 30
62 - touché salesman. Touché.
billyz77 24
Oh dear God, DrunkButterfly, what are you doing? NEVER blame ANYTHING on video games. Don't you realize where you are? This is FML, girl. 87.9% of the accounts here are owned by video game players. Mine included. You might as well suggest those jeans make that girl's butt look big (see below) or stand up in the middle of a young Jewish boy's 13th birthday celebration and suggest that Hitler had some good ideas but he just went about it wrong. Sheesh!!
_wraith 15
What my friend #70 is trying to say is that you've busted down the fourth wall and you are not equipped for the shit storm that follows. Do yourself a favor and put down the gin before 10am, Butterfly. You owe it to your liver.
CabbageTrees 13
It's not your fault OP, but you should talk to her to make her feel better. FYL.
billyz77 24
Never. I say NEVER say anything to a wife or girlfriend or female friend or ANY female that can even remotely be interpreted as something about her weight. It's always a one word answer and it's always quick: Her - "Honey, do these jeans make my butt look big?" You - "No!" That's it. Do not expand on your answer, either. You'll only make it worse.
adamo_erebus 26
Even better, those girls should stop being so sensitive and anal. Unless someone calls you fat straight-out, don't throw a bitch-fit and start attacking them, because 90% of the time, they didn't mean anything by it.
KawiRacer69 5
It seems that if you are in a relationship with an African Amercan woman, it is social acceptable to say "you hot a fat ass"
tj5810 21
Billyz77- You are a VERY intelligent man! Guys: Take notes from this gentleman.
Iknoweverything 29
Sounds like someone who knows she needs to go to the gym. People seriously need to stop taking other people's comments so personally. If you are so insecure that no one can discuss fitness with you, go to the gym. If you really didn't care, you wouldn't be so upset! And yes, this comment is coming from someone who is seriously overweight, and goes to the gym because she's self-conscious about it.