Today, I had my daughter babysit her two-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, being a divorced dad, I had a very important job opportunity for which I would be gone overnight. When I returned, I found my son locked in his room while the babysitter was having sex with a man in my bed. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML
Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
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Top comments
ShirtlessWonder 17
How can someone not care about their sibling that much?
ratchel_7 8
I hope she's being punished
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Comments (113)
ShirtlessWonder 17
How can someone not care about their sibling that much?
lukian_fml 29
She's doing the right thing. Not caring would be leaving the room (without a baby monitor), or he house.
chinaski7628 32
Um, the right thing would be to not have sex while she's babysitting her brother.
SPN_lover666 27
#20, the daughter had sex while her 2 year old brother was in the room. She was not doing the right thing.
DoomSkuller 28
So, does he have a left thing, as well?
AninOnin 24
Well, it IS Australia, and marsupials DO have two-pronged penises.
ProgrestYourself 4
Y'all really need to grow up. If the kid was sleeping/napping, what does it matter if she was having sex around him? If he wasn't, what do you remember from being 2?
DoomedGemini 38
Some people do remember memories from then, especially if it's traumatizing. Even if they don't it might be in their subconscious, not to mention if he saw you now have a 2 year old who is curious about what he saw which could get everyone in huge trouble. Even if he was asleep, it's disgusting! And what if they made noise to wake him up? What they did was horrible, and I cannot think of a punishment good enough for her.
ShirtlessWonder 17
#86 telling us to grow up in the same sentence you tell us that having sex near a 2 year old is ok. Hypocrisy at its finest.
bwinski 19
Am I the only one curious about the age difference between the 2 year old and the daughter? Like is it extreme in that the daughter is 18 years old or is the daughter early teens. This is just one messed up situation and I feel super bad for the OP.
jawdatD 9
At least she is keeping an eye on him
felipe2342 18
No she isn't.
Grayness_ 26
Yes she is.
gracehi 33
Exactly one eye... Which would be totally weird while she's orgasming. Ew.
kalaise 6
What a parenting failure.
Cely988 29
More like sibling failure.
kl0x 8
Youth having sex is parenting failure?
MRSwick2525 23
How is that a parenting failure #3? The mother asked her to babysit her sibling and decided that ******* her boyfriend is more important. Her choice to do that has nothing to do with OP's parenting. It is a sister failure.
fakedsincerity 32
I don't think trusting your child is a parenting failure.
doodlecloud 27
Maybe 3 meant raising a child who would do that in front of their baby brother is a parenting failure? I mean, I don't think you can judge parenting on just that, especially as teenagers can just be dicks for no reason. But that would make more sense.
ShirtlessWonder 17
#37 I'm pretty sure the sister isn't so ****** up that she could have sex while her 2 year old brother was watching. Think it meant that the brother was in another room, and the sister was just a complete idiot. Edit: apparently I'm wrong. Wow. That is so ****** up.
ratchel_7 8
I hope she's being punished
failedgamer01 20
She was getting "punished" by that guy.
RedPillSucks 33
I'm going to he'll cause I laughed at this.
I_Like_Dogs 28
#44, I don't think you understand how the "laughing=hell" thing works.
RenoTheRhino 30
*hell
Shieldsam 15
@80 SEE YOU IN HE'LL
T1A2Z3 35
Maybe the guy took care of that ;-)
LeashaJoy5595 28
Well that's an awkward situation for both parties. It's a shame that you won't be able to trust her on her own anymore...
PandaSmile 24
I cannot tell a lie I read that as thrust and was very confused and concerned
RedPillSucks 33
going down in flames...
beeneatenalive 12
Plot twist, the kid was having sex with some girl
MRSwick2525 23
Seriously??? Are you an idiot? A 2yr old kid having sex?!?! Jesus Christ how stupid can some of these comments be.
Eliiara 11
Tf
MRSwick2525 23
The son is in the same room as the daughter that's banging her boyfriend.
aneff0592 13
My two year old copies everything I do and say, so I can only hope for your sake he wasn't paying too much attention to what was going on... Smh
thedoctor999 11
That is not cool! I can only imagine the conversation when you got home!
chrisbeaudoin 26
This needs a follow up!
RedPillSucks 33
or some FML submitted by a two year old... Today, I watched as my sister was getting it on... My diaper is full and I'm missing the titty, FML