Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Carpenter ants? This FML is funnier in my head when I imagine they're building tiny scaffolding around you, and fixing your broken chair. oh and FYL
lonely_wife 0
I know I'd FREAK OUT!
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Comments (82)
IveGotNothing 0
1ST COMMENT WHOOP!
PaulG10 0
hmmm, sounds like my morning. but a bit different.... i woke up to carpenters that were building a deck outside my bedroom window that i wasnt aware of.... they were looking at me and laughing.... i sleep naked....
EvAnWuzhere 0
Sue the ants ass offfff!!!no, jk
humorizer 14
Did they call you back the next morning?
ananamoose 0
#1 are you from Texas A&M? Also, what were the ants building when you woke up? Hopefully a really cool coffee table or something, or maybe since they were in your bed they were measuring you to make some wooden clothes for you. Which I would be stoked on! Wooden clothes congrats, I'm jealous
HahaYDI 0
Why does anyone bury the first comment, you are all just jealous that you are not number 1
lonely_wife 0
I know I'd FREAK OUT!
taintedtruffle 42
oh i sure as hell would
my_fml_account 2
Carpenter ants? This FML is funnier in my head when I imagine they're building tiny scaffolding around you, and fixing your broken chair. oh and FYL
trulyinsane 0
carpenter ants basically eat wood. carpentry = woodwork. on another note, maintenance your house better might have helped. in most cases this is preventable before they get too far, but im not going to assume because that makes people look very dumb on this site.
JulzKay 0
Haha, My_FML_account, your comment made me chuckle! =D
peanutbutterfly 0
did it tickle?
Anthony6151 0
At least you have the sun out....
beboman 0
You should fumigate periodically. It's your fault =p
iFruit 0
Ay karumba
Intoxicunt 6
Aww, at least you had buddies to cuddle with. FYL.
plexico 4
Were they working on your morning wood?
defman_fml 0
Hahahaha!!
jonny2x4 0
.....CHOMP CHOMP...........
oh_mi_shizzle 0
lmao hahahaha good one plexico! *gives thumbs up* that would've been a worse fml, betting a bj from carpeter ants... *shudders at thought* lol oh well, hope that wasnt ur case OP... and i wont say ydi, but i dont think ur life is ****** cuz of this either, just kinda ruined ur day i guess... just call somebody to come get rid of them and everything will be over :) be calm lol
_THE_MASTER_ 0
lmao, i dunno what's funnier, the comment itself or the fact that i didn't need to read the name to know right away that it was plexico...dude, you always slay me. lmao
soccerbeauty4eva 0
hahahahaha =P