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It was a parking lot for a grocery store. My car is a beige '82 300D Mercedes. I don't think it looks that suspicious. I've never been in a car accident in my whole entire life, then when I moved to Georgia, I was in 3 within my first year living here. I didn't cause any of them. If that happened to you, you'd understand why I park in a parking lot to let the traffic go by. I know it sounds shady, but after I explained this to you, does it still sound shady? Apparently the cops think so.

Useful and used

By maxiflouf - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 224

You deserved it 3 082

By redjesus69 - 03/02/2010 03:52 - United States

Today, after almost nine months of doing anything and everything to show my love for my girlfriend and make her happy, she told me she would give "anything" to relive the one week of her and her ex's relationship where she was the happiest in her life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 597

You deserved it 3 549

STOP TALKING

By Anonymous - 17/01/2023 22:00

Today, my in-laws are so much "know it all better than you" that my father-in-law started trying to convince me that he knows how much chilli I need in my soup better than I do. I had to raise my voice to almost screaming level at him to stop. I'm 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 162

By ThisisMedSchool - 01/11/2012 21:18 - United States - Johnson City

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 452

You deserved it 8 905

Nasty

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 14:00

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 117

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 20:23 - Russian Federation

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 391

You deserved it 3 237

By Melie-Melo - 16/12/2008 07:55 - United Kingdom

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 130

You deserved it 2 191

Not worth my time

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, my dad has gone to two different relatives’ weddings in two different states this month alone. I also found out about his big birthday celebration, his BBQ and his trip to Vegas. I saw it all on Facebook. I’ve not been invited to anything, and he never visits me. I live an hour away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 161

By inhaler -.- - 06/10/2013 05:20 - United States - Huntsville

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 595

You deserved it 5 785

Fast response

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 597

You deserved it 4 288

By indianaxx - 30/01/2010 17:21 - France

Today, my dad came out of our hotel bathroom with nothing but a wash-cloth over his crotch and said, "Look! This place has cotton loincloths!" in front of my wedding party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 979

You deserved it 2 463

Where did everyone go?

By LoveUGuysToo - 05/08/2020 14:03

Today, I wrote a Facebook post venting about the horrible things I've been going through lately, hoping my friends would console me. I discovered that my English teacher from 30 years ago, the creepy dude who keeps asking me out, and some random chick I don't even know are my only "friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 753

Mysterious girl

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 11:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was our anniversary just 3 nights ago, and she said she was sorry for leading me on. She still hasn’t told me why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 93

Namaste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 353

Mistaken identity

By thedogwalker - 09/08/2020 08:02

Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 220

Singing In The Shower

By FML Videos - 18/09/2018 18:30

Everybody needs some time alone to sing it out... Just hope no one is recording it!

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 73

Always read the fine print

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 14:00

Today, I noticed that my coffee mug has a 'dishwasher safe' label. I've been hand washing it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 859

Show off

By badluck_jean - 17/01/2015 13:54 - France

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 774

You deserved it 11 141

By Anonymous - 17/11/2008 08:53 - France

Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 612

You deserved it 8 294

By notnow - 27/09/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 379

You deserved it 2 623

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The Top

Today, after weeks of oral pain and hundreds of dollars in dentistry fees, we found the culprit: a popcorn kernel that floss was unable to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 944

You deserved it 3 579

Today, it's my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted out, "You too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 055

You deserved it 5 344

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 974

You deserved it 7 139

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 656

You deserved it 52 392

Today, I'm in hell. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, but if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get crippling migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 107

Today, my girlfriend hasn’t fucked me in god knows how long. I had to mention a BJ and she already said she was going to give me one for Valentine’s Day. I knew it was bullshit because it’s the 17th and still no head. I get mad when I watch sex scenes. I masturbate but it's not the same. I really wanna fuck other women. IDK WHAT TO DO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 535