Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my douchebag boss for a raise, since I had ample proof that he's screwing a co-worker. Turns out he and his wife are in an open relationship, and HR doesn't give a damn about office romances. Now I have to quit or deal with the most hostile work environment ever. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I got a harsh warning from my boss. I apologized because I was genuinely in the wrong. My girlfriend found out about it and sent my boss a message, threatening to kick her ass. I'm now suspended. Thanks babe. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his boss so he could get a promotion and "provide" for us. This from the guy who made me quit my job because he said he made enough money to support us both. FML
Today, my boss made up a rumor that I was quitting my job so I wouldn't get the promotion that was coming up. There goes that raise I've been wanting for six months. FML
Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML
Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I got mad at my wife for giving her male coworker a ride home. I know nothing went on with them because I tracked her phone, I’m mad that he offered her a job in the business he’s starting, because she’ll be making a LOT more money than me. FML
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Top comments
IHaveThePower 18
I feel like this is missing something. If you blackmailed your boss, then I could see your wife trying to 'teach you a lesson'--although that's a really big problem--but otherwise, why would she go break up a stranger's marriage and put you out of work? This is not something you should just let go here. You and your wife need to get some kind of mediation and talk this out, because there's some real problems here, even if it's just that you're willing to blackmail people and your wife isn't.
hopejm 5
you married an idiot
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Comments (6)
poopface82 25
YDI for taking dirty money.
angus 17
Snitches get stitches
IHaveThePower 18
I feel like this is missing something. If you blackmailed your boss, then I could see your wife trying to 'teach you a lesson'--although that's a really big problem--but otherwise, why would she go break up a stranger's marriage and put you out of work? This is not something you should just let go here. You and your wife need to get some kind of mediation and talk this out, because there's some real problems here, even if it's just that you're willing to blackmail people and your wife isn't.
hopejm 5
you married an idiot
ElizibethRose 4
your wife is stupid
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
How the hell did she find out if you were actually keeping your mouth shut?