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Hey, OP here. Anyways, for those who are saying I should take it as a joke--he was fully serious when he said it. He's not the best human being. He's done this before, and I don't know why he specifically attacks my son's kitten. He's threatened to let the cat outside so it can get hit by a car, has said he hopes it runs away and never comes back, and I even caught him trying to kick and/or chuck it out of a room. He repeated what he said to my husband, but claimed that my son couldn't take a joke and refused to apologize. My son was speechless when he said it and went to his room because he didn't want to be seen crying. He's only 8; he doesn't need to hear that his grandfather wants to kill his cat. My husband did the responsible thing and told my father that he thinks he shouldn't be involved with my son that much anymore.

Not a morning person

By chris - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 005

You deserved it 28 576

By Forge - 11/10/2014 14:43 - United States - Taylor

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 050

You deserved it 3 486

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 029

You deserved it 14 155

By BeatenUpPup - 18/05/2009 12:22 - Canada

Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 235

You deserved it 5 806

By not anymore - 30/10/2015 23:29 - United States - Monroe

Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 4 865

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 16:42 - United States

Today, I gave my two weeks notice at work. My boss sighed with relief and muttered, "Thank God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 943

You deserved it 6 390

By Anonymous - 30/06/2014 11:40 - Australia - Applecross

Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 374

You deserved it 7 784

By Anonymous - 01/07/2015 17:54 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 831

You deserved it 34 318

Your future, our clutter

By pwib - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Napa

Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied by the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 870

You deserved it 5 377

By me - 15/12/2013 01:49 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I managed to infect a clean computer with a virus while looking up info on how to rid my other computer of the same virus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 611

You deserved it 8 474

By JoshuaRob - 03/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 220

You deserved it 8 046

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 11:52 - United States - Walbridge

Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 508

You deserved it 7 690

Never ever

By notgettinsome - 10/11/2013 06:15 - Australia

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 321

You deserved it 5 240

By zombielover1 - 13/07/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 190

You deserved it 12 841

By boss stabber - 04/01/2015 06:52 - United States - Kings Beach

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 554

You deserved it 2 479

No refunds, no returns

By Gabi - 09/01/2010 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent about half an hour trying to decide whether to buy a top, because even though it was lovely, it was really expensive. Eventually, after deciding to buy it because I could always return it if I changed my mind, I got home and realised I'd left it on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 294

You deserved it 32 444

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 472

You deserved it 2 737

By smidge - 02/06/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I got a call from an ad agency offering me a job. I was so excited, because I've been looking for work for a few months now and really wanted to work for them. An hour later, they called apologizing, because they'd made a mistake and offered the job to the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 594

You deserved it 2 645

Scarred a generation

By nbj10 - 31/05/2013 22:42 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 311

You deserved it 15 411

By Anonymous - 08/07/2014 19:40 - United States - Clive

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 556

You deserved it 13 847

By Urinator - 16/09/2015 18:26 - United Kingdom - Inchture

Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 777

You deserved it 1 923

By messyfamily - 19/09/2010 07:31 - Australia

Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 741

You deserved it 2 860

By failure - 14/07/2011 16:24 - Russian Federation

Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 557

You deserved it 4 167

By Full Stomach Empty Wallet - 06/08/2015 10:50 - United States - Danvers

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 060

You deserved it 2 635

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Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 825

You deserved it 4 582

Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 584

You deserved it 67 236

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 914

You deserved it 143 246

Today, as I was lying in my bed eating my dinner, my roommate said to me, "I don't know how to say this, but we need more towels. The room is flooding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 163

You deserved it 2 942

Today, I fainted in the bathtub. My family broke the door to save me, which is great, but they all saw me naked, which is not so great. My siblings laughed at the size of my penis, my father laughed at the situation, and my mom just cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 314

You deserved it 413

Today, I had a Zoom job interview. My roommate grabbed me, duct-taped my mouth, and hogtied me. I watched helplessly as he took the call with my potential employer, insulted her, and said, “Fuck this job.” All because I “hit on his girlfriend” at a BBQ yesterday, by asking her if she wanted another hot dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 162