Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
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Top comments
jsan727 17
You should of just stared him in the eyes the entire time. You know, to establish dominance.
Zelphoric 25
Sounds like he's working pretty hard.
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Comments (88)
philsh94 20
well that is a sticky situation
jb591 10
I sincerely love puns and all these classless downvoters dont know shit. Pun on man, pun on
isuckwithnames 22
Yeah everyone is just salty.
ViviChenny 19
I suggest drinking pineapple juice.
TheGreatPotato 19
Some people say puns are the lowest form of humour. Some people also haven't seen Dane Cook.
KayDee29 31
I mean, he did at least have the decency to take his urgent matters to the restroom. Now to teach him what a bathroom stall is...
SpyroMello 29
Where does it say he wasn't in a stall
noah1a2b 9
true he could've just done it openly with everyone to see
BlockOfRedStone 25
Where I work, instead of stalls it's just one male and female bathroom. Each with 1 toilet, sink, and lockable door. Unfortunately most people forget about the lockable part of them.
KayDee29 31
#7 Good point, although I'm not sure why OP would have walked into a stall being used so I'm curious as to how he walked in on said perpetrator and if he was just jerkin it over the sink. But who knows, I'm a woman. I'm not really sure what men's restrooms look like anyways.
SpyroMello 29
Most bathrooms have more than 1 stall so if you walk into a bathroom you can hear someone in a stall.
izzie321 27
Or maybe there's open urinals? Like a lot of men's bathrooms when they're all lined up with no walls or anything in between. He could've been doing it in one of those..
Zelphoric 25
Sounds like he's working pretty hard.
slingerslasher 24
"hard at work or hardly working?" the first one
acmariner99 25
Bit of a jerk if you ask me.
jsan727 17
You should of just stared him in the eyes the entire time. You know, to establish dominance.
gamermonster 34
Don't want to be that person, but it's "should have". I'll leave now.
ulissey_fml 22
I cannot believe it takes a non native speaker to stress that "should of " just does NOT exist , nor does it mean anything. It is " should HAVE ". As in : - a modal like SHOULD can be in the present tense: it is used with an infinitive verb ( I should KNOW this) -In the past , it is used with HAVE and a PAST form of the verb. ( I should HAVE LEARNED this at grade school)
Wyrmflight 13
as long as you understand what he means it really doesn't matter if his grammar or word choice was wrong. It's not like he's writing a ******* essay
Fuckthefuck 4
that's true. English is not my native tongue, and yet I speak it more good (jk), better than most native speakers I know in America. The funny thing is that some try to pick on me by correcting me on wording that isn't commonly used, and they turn out to be wrong.
Timmip12 9
Chill mate leeve the gremmar lessin at skool
xTommytheGUNx 15
great comment. and by the way wtf does it matter? maybe you should **** off and not make fun of peoples grammar. some people struggle with language.
Ramos808 29
Wow, I hope he doesn't get cocky while working!
GAeroNKissR 26
too late for that!
totallynotemily 25
Be lucky he wasn't muttering your name.
Bansheefaerie 9
be lucky?
Googolman 29
Was he at least in a stall...? Or did you see everything? And does he know that you walked in on him?
I_own_a_dog 11
Might be a little awkward shaking hands next..
thenewgirl29 20
Who hasn't done that at work? lol
cprad11 12
I hope I can safely assume that most people would have the sense to not do that at work, but I could be wrong.
MariaGiovanni 25
wtf I hope this was a joke
NotMarcus 7
Ur 15 u don't know what a job is
thenewgirl29 20
I was serious. Lol im not 15. I'm 32.