Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over two years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, I walked into the bedroom to find my wife naked, bent over the bed, swaying her cheeks back and forth at me, so what else was I to think? Instead of some good loving, all I got was a shouting and a lecture that just because she’s naked doesn’t mean she’s after sex. I give up. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend admit to her sister she likes sex in the dark not because she’s embarrassed of her body, but because she’s disgusted by mine. She loves me, enjoys sex with me, and wants to make me happy, but apparently my tattoos and hairy chest are a turn off, so no lights. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML
Today, the woman I have been seeing said she couldn't see a future with me. This was all because I didn't text her back when I fell asleep after working a double night/morning shift. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML
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Top comments
Decipher 0
buurrnnnn
JD_Knuckles 0
Just be glad you're getting some. There are people with nicer bodies and still haven't gotten any. It's not like her's is any better...
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Comments (57)
Decipher 0
buurrnnnn
substitutes 0
Poor Op
FMLouis 6
There's a pretty simple solution to that. Doggy style
azurablade 0
first
pinktiger 0
HA. no ur not. sucka
Pipistrello_fml 0
Pwnd.
JD_Knuckles 0
Just be glad you're getting some. There are people with nicer bodies and still haven't gotten any. It's not like her's is any better...
iankennedy17 0
azurablade can suck his ****. ****** noob
missmarena 0
awe. what a … bitch ! sorry but uh, she sure sounds like one
DeTard 0
Haha, roll with it dude. In total agreement with #5 here. And since she doesn't mind and you clearly want to, tell her you want to watch her undress (or undress her yourself) and turn off the lights before you get undressed yourself. ;)
dante0220 0
u want some ice for that burn... 9th
luve123 0
that's soo cold for her to say. but ydi for having sex with a girl who doesn't respect you like you need to be.
BRiANNE123 0
aww, it'll b all right.