Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML
Today, I managed to "permanently and irrevocably" damage my spine. How? By bending down and picking up a piece of paper. According to my doctor, essentially I need to, "bend over like a stripper if I want to pick something up." FML
Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML
Today, I found out why I was gradually getting worsening hip pain in those muscles. Turns out I was slouching too much and it had finally caught up with me. I'm only 39. Nothing like needing to go to physical therapy to correct my posture before I turn 50. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, I went for a massage because my shoulder's been hurting for months but I can't take decent painkillers because they'd react with my anti-depressants. It STILL hurts, but worse, across my upper spine, and I can't tilt my head back. I paid to look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame doing a swan impression. FML
Today, I did a series of stretches recommended to me by my physical therapist to help with my hip pain. I must've done them wrong despite following the instructions exactly because when I went shopping and my basket upended itself and spilled on the floor, I was in so much agony I couldn't squat to get it. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML
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Top comments
DropDead77 11
how ironic :P
jewels1877 0
Well, at least you aren't a hunchback?
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Comments (88)
kikibisweet 0
Silly fool. Haha lol oh my. So basically you were looking like a dumbass all day. lolz
testthecoal 5
He didn't deserve it, but still. If the military can, than OP should be able to sit straight
MichaelGood 0
Um everyone can do it even military? posture is important goon on OP for trying! and ull get it once they fix ur spine haha
undeadhearts 0
haha
RoxRoidz 0
Maybe this FML will get my teacher to stop telling me to sit up. Cause of her, I have to wear 2 back bre-I mean, back bracers.
snagglepaste 0
its cuz ur fat op!!!
ilovepoppa 0
I try doing that sometimes but I feel dumb and uncomfortable. but props to op for trying!(:
katelynnvong 0
haha
SassiestLemon 2
Just to clarify for 10, OP is a "she".
pattheaninal 9
well since Jon Cryer is no longer in Two And A Half Men, you can book an appointment..
Fence 8
Smarticus XD that sucks for you.
DropDead77 11
how ironic :P
jewels1877 0
Well, at least you aren't a hunchback?
randomnameflob 0
Yet.
obsydian_fml 3
yikes! probably did it wrong :/
zendaddy0 0
lolololiliololl
maddiester 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi for making an effort. if you're hunchback, suck it up. nobody likes a person who tries. America needs more slackers and people who don't care. clearly you aren't one of them.
mentalhotdog 0
Wtf??
avatar0810 15
oh yeah we need sooooooooo many more
Prankster7o7 5
There's a thing called sarcasm.
spanelli 16
No there isn't.
denbeste 3
#6 no one in retardica cares...
mcintosh123 15
maybe you should stop trying so hard to look good you don't need make up or anything accept that you are ugly and suck it up k Ty
joooeee 3
28, are you trying to insult Antarctica? Look out, those penguins sure can get feisty!
hwkitty 0
sarcasm doesn't translate very well over the internet...
teentee401 37
I think most people got the sarcasm. It just wasn't funny
MyApocalypse 1
Ouch....well, at least you now have an excuse to not be sitting "properly". xD
mentalhotdog 0
haha nice
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Back to the drawing board!
NoWaySick 0
This is worse then that time i found two camels in a tiny car.
readin_duh 0
lol! double rainbow!
wtf20007 10
at least no one walked in on you "doin ya mum"
dezinspaaace 0
co za asy
dirtyblond 4
stalking your mom
ISinSoDoYou 0
14 and 43 were wins. all the other comment above replying to 14 sucked. :/. where's perdix and family when u need them??