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Public freakout

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 12:00

Today, at Starbucks, I was sat next to a father and son where the son told his dad he wanted to meet in a public place for his own safety, because he had to tell him he’d gotten his half-sister pregnant. It might not sound like my FML but in the fist fight that followed they smashed my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 131

Creative

By Kymberly Hams - 09/04/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler was supposed to be taking a nap. Instead, he decided it was the perfect time to remove his own nappy for the first time ever. He painted his walls, floor, bed and body, then started crying because he was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 350

If it was intentional…

By Anonymous - 06/11/2024 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 142

That's… a strange coincidence

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 05:01

Today, my boyfriend of three years hooked up with a girl who got herpes from a Michigan football player. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 138

Mummy's little boy

By HadEnough - 24/03/2022 02:00

Today, I hate my toxic, bossy, narcissistic mother-in-law - who is currently visiting us. My husband spilt a little tea and almost had a panic attack over what to do if his mother found out. How did he turn out so normal despite having such a mum? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 103

East side story

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 00:02 - India - Prayagraj

Today, I found out that the girl I love loves me back. The two of us are madly in love with each other but we can't do anything about it because our religions and our castes are different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 344

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 108

Distance makes the heart…

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Fort Drum

Today, I'm over a 1000 miles away from my wife, and she's so upset and angry with me that she doesn't want me to touch her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 226

Trash takes itself out

By Used - 02/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to wish one of my friends a happy birthday on his Facebook wall, only to see that I was blocked. Turns out, he blocked me because he'd developed a crush on me for some time and couldn’t stand seeing the posts between me and my new boyfriend. So basically I can only be his friend if I’m single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 189

Manchild

By Guyinstructor - 06/05/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since my boyfriend moved in, I've learned just how much his mother did everything for him and never taught him how to adult. In the last month I've had to show him how to cook, clean the house, do laundry and drying, use the vacuum, pay household bills, and he still moans its too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 238

Right under your nose

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 01:56

Today, my husband took our 5-month-old to the doctor, who diagnosed him with a severe sinus blockage and referred us to a specialist. This is the third major health problem with our son that our husband has picked up before I did. My job? I’m a nurse in a paediatric clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 764

Freaked out

By anon - 07/02/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 144

The house always wins

By Rhayne - 23/07/2023 06:00 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, I discovered my husband hadn't stopped his dangerous gambling habit, even though he'd promised to stop after I caught him the first time two months ago. I'm hurt, sad, confused, and angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 147

Red flag

By WalkingOnEggshells - 26/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Miami

Today, the man I've liked for so long asked me out on a date. Three years ago I fell for him and he denied me unless I "lost 100lbs” Now I've lost about 85lbs (not because of him, but for myself) and he wants to give me the time of day. I still like him, but I feel like I have to watch my weight to keep him if I say “Yes.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 539

Cough up, daddy

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 10:00

Today, my son told me he and his ex deliberately got pregnant, despite being broken up, because she wanted a baby, he wanted sex, and she promised she wouldn’t ask him for child support. She must have had her fingers crossed because his court date is next week. Moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 279

By jojolovesyou134 - 23/06/2019 22:45

Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 292

We need to know more!

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 08:00 - Austria

Today, I lost the best girl that I’ve ever met, she blocked me on every social media and I don't know why, she wrote to me every day, and suddenly I got blocked. Her birthday is in one month, I had the best present and I can't even change or return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 238

Crossword anxiety

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 00:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I've been so anxious that I downloaded a crossword app to try to focus. You get stars whenever you complete a puzzle, either 1, 2, or 3. I'm now up to 400 stars and placed first in a competition I didn't even know I was participating in. I'm still anxious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 180

I'll just let myself out…

By cheated - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 398

You deserved it 256

Dodgy

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 12:00

Today, after 6 years not wanting kids, my wife suddenly wants them with a desperation I’ve only seen in the drug addicts I work with wanting their fix. I still don’t want children, so now we just don’t have sex because I can’t trust her to take her contraceptives, or somehow tamper with my condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 278

Rip Torn

By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 127

Dodge

By hollywoodhelman - 17/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like concert tickets for our favorite artist, who is usually never in our town, for her birthday. She said, “No thanks, I have to work that day.” She works Monday-Friday. The concert is on Saturday. When I mentioned this, she asked me, “So, what did you think of the Super Bowl halftime show?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 250

Narcolepsy? Boredom?

By jinnai - 27/03/2021 00:30

Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 05/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, despite seeing her every weekend, her not telling me her work schedule, and her having ignored me every time she gets a boyfriend, my sister is upset that I "don't make more of an effort to see her." Sorry, I'm trying to not rely on people who hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 158

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 299

Sucks to suck

By Lila - 31/05/2022 22:00 - United States - Port Orange

Today, after several months of starting an antidepressant at the same time as my husband, I have horrible side effects, including weight gain, drowsiness, and acne. His only side effect? He can now only achieve an orgasm through oral stimulation. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 205

Management for dummies

By hayley8 - 04/06/2022 10:00

Today, it’s the middle of my vacation and I just got a notification saying my time off request was denied. A month earlier, I got the notice saying it was approved. I’m literally 4 states over. I’m not going to have a job when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 100

Failed the smell test

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 14:00 - Germany

Today, I can hardly enjoy my food because of the reek from the cat's litter box under the bench. Poor cat, you might say, serves me right for not cleaning the litter box? Actually, the box is clean. What smells disgusting is the scented cat litter I bought because there was nothing else available. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 264

Laissez-faire capitalism

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 17:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my Facebook account is deactivated and I don't think they are going to give me my account balance of $855 on Marketplace. So, I'm out my items, shipping costs and the profit I would have made. Facebook Marketplace is a scam. I'm so depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 234

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 291

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The Top

Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 080

You deserved it 793

Today, I turned twenty two. Three days ago I was fired. Two days ago I failed a midterm. Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 678

You deserved it 405

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 182

You deserved it 275

Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 153

Today, I have come to accept that my girlfriend has such obvious daddy issues that I can only turn her on by dressing/acting/sounding like him, but not too obviously because if she realises that’s what I’m doing, she screams, “I do not want to have sex with my dad!” then starts crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 197

Today, I've worked for the power company for six years. My wife and her family still don't understand that I don't control their power bills, I can't give them a discount, and I can't answer their questions since I don't work in Billing. Every month, it's the same tired arguments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 72