Today, my wife complained that I never try to initiate sex anymore. I moved in to kiss her, only for her to push away and say, "I don't want sex!" I tried again later that night. "I don't want sex!" The next day: "I don't want sex!" This is why I never try; if something doesn't work, why keep trying it? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my wife snapped at me for never having sex with her. Any time I try, she tells me to stop, but apparently sometimes she wants me to ignore her pleas and keep going. Sometimes she actually wants me to stop, though, and she won't tell me how to differentiate the two. Help. FML
Today, my wife flat out refuses to have sex with me, ever. Most days it's "What have you done to earn sex?" then when I point out all I do (pay bills, work hard, take care of her, the kids and the house) it's, "Oh, so that means I owe you sex?" I even got that excuse on my birthday. FML
Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't initiate sex much anymore. The only way she will have sex is at night, lights out, covers on, TV turned up, and no foreplay or anything. It's so fucking boring, I'd rather just watch TV. FML
Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML
Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML
Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML
Today, I would rather pound to porn than have sex with my wife, because trying to get her in the mood is too much hassle. FML
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Top comments
IceTrees 15
I'm sorrg, dude, it's time to find a new wife. :( FYL
tiptoppc 21
Or at least try therapy first. Something else is going on and I’d try that before the expense of divorce. Divorce ain’t cheap. Everyone screams it until you are looking down the barrel of a lawyer’s guns and then you realize the horrible process and cost of it. Therapy is cheaper and less destructive to try first. I’m on my 2nd marriage. First failed in a year, 2nd is 8 years in. Divorce is messy and costly no matter how long (or short) you’ve been married. Worse if you have kids. Thank god I didn’t.
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Comments (2)
ahabsfan 17
I will try to initiate sex with her. If she goes through it, then we know you’re the problem.
IceTrees 15
I'm sorrg, dude, it's time to find a new wife. :( FYL
tiptoppc 21
Or at least try therapy first. Something else is going on and I’d try that before the expense of divorce. Divorce ain’t cheap. Everyone screams it until you are looking down the barrel of a lawyer’s guns and then you realize the horrible process and cost of it. Therapy is cheaper and less destructive to try first. I’m on my 2nd marriage. First failed in a year, 2nd is 8 years in. Divorce is messy and costly no matter how long (or short) you’ve been married. Worse if you have kids. Thank god I didn’t.