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Uneasy

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my husband bought me some new perfume. It wasn’t really my style but he insisted I try it. Afterward we had some of the best, most vigorous sex of our entire relationship. Later, while visiting his parents, I found the same perfume in his mom’s bathroom. It’s her 'special occasion' scent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 124

It's all about that D

By MK. - 21/04/2021 02:00

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 909

Works with podcasts as well

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 08:00 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I realised I get really attached to characters in long-running TV shows, because I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 173

Alexa, play "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel feat. Kate Bush

By Forever Alone - 19/06/2022 18:00

Today, I realized that my YouTube watch history, which is mostly comprised of audio ASMRs dealing with loneliness and other anxiety and depression issues, has turned into one big testament to how utterly lonely I am in the real world, and that I probably will remain like this for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 1 076

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 23:02

Today, I told my girlfriend that one of my intellectually challenged friends now holds an engineering position at an aircraft company. She wasn't a fan of flying before, and now refuses to set foot anywhere near any aircraft of any kind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 270

The cure for insomnia is sleep

By insomina - 06/07/2022 18:00

Today, it’s the fourth day in a row I’ve laid in bed for hours with my eyes shut, wide awake, then watched the sun rise. All my parents have to say is, “Insomnia isn’t real. Just go to bed earlier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 114

One Shall Stand, One Shall Fall!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2021 05:59

Today, my husband pre-ordered $500 worth of Transformers figures. We're supposed to be trying to save up for a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 174

Follow through

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 16:00

Today, my kid was on an app that makes fart noises. After too many minutes of this, I wrestled the phone away. He then went on to make real farts. Stinky ones. Then, had the inevitable shart, along with hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 282

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 89

Foreshadowing

By Confused - 31/07/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 281

Stone the crows

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum used her spare key to get into my flat and stole almost all my food. She claimed she did it for my health because I’m "getting a bit chubby." I weigh 12 stone while she weighs over 20, plus all my food was in her kitchen, except for the already empty packets in her bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 89

Moving Walkway Fail

By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 04:00 - United States - New York

Follow your dreams, kids!

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 102

Social parasites

By Anonymous - 23/07/2022 00:00

Today, a tenant complained about me on the local news by name. The company I work for refuses to fix the electric in her building. I make $41K per year, and I’m “a selfish millionaire slumlord.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 184

Make it easy on yourself

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 04:00

Today, I had depressive feelings, so I decided to write about it to find out what was bothering me, and let go of the negative thoughts. While doing so, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 235

Kinda disrespectful

By Ruined - 23/11/2023 02:30

Today, at my birthday party in an expensive sushi restaurant that I spent hundreds of dollars to reserve, my boyfriend of 3 years proposed… to my sister. She said yes. They’ve been secretly seeing each other for the past year. She just graduated high school this past summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 114

New lifeform just dropped

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 20:00 - Canada

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 624

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 564

Foam my life

By Jennie - 05/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 509

Sobering

By Imnotfromhere - 13/06/2021 16:01

Today, I went to a bar to celebrate my 26th birthday. I got ripped off by the bartender all night because she secretly gave me non-alcoholic versions of my drinks. Apparently I look like I'm 16, so she thought my ID was fake. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 206

Drunk

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 17:59

Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 1 602

Workers of the world unite

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 04:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the day before I was supposed to go back to work after I got sick, ended up in the hospital, and primary doctor put me on medical leave, I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 95

Ewww!

By M…… - 27/06/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went for a quick piss at a restaurant. As I walked out the door, a little kid in the bathroom yelled, "HEY MISTER, YOU FORGOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS!" Everyone in the dining room stared, including my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 051

The System

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 00:01

Today, I found out I can’t get in-state tuition at my college, all because I’m under 24 and considered a "dependent" student; therefore my parents must prove state residency on my behalf. I lost both my parents to COVID last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 102

Man's best friend

By jess - 01/07/2025 20:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my boyfriend was breaking up with me because he felt his needs were not met. I asked what I could do to change his mind. He said, "Suck my dick, right now." It got me more turned on than I thought possible. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 575

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 525

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 340

Confusing love triangle

By Perry85 - 04/01/2020 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 3 670

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 10/09/2022 19:00

Today, I found out I can't earn a bachelor’s degree towards my dream career because I have previously gone to undergrad. I only went to undergrad because my parents convinced me not to pursue my dream career the first time around. I quit a brutal job to pursue this… but at least I had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 202

Not really a good sign

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 02:01

Today, my long distance girlfriend of 6 months, who landed in Canada last week, and for whom I was supposed to travel from Toronto to Vancouver next week to meet her for the first time, blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 206

May to December

By b…… - 01/10/2022 11:30

Today, after 20 loving years together, my husband had a “change of heart” and decided to leave me for his 26 year-old employee. He’s 64. I can’t get him fired because he’s the owner of the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 183

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The Top

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 3 797

Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 962

You deserved it 41 799

Today, once again, my family had a loud conversation over the television show I was quietly watching. Ironically, the moment they watch something they like, even if it's a re-run episode, you have to be quiet or you'll be called a monster. Simply say "Hi" and they'll pause the TV to look at you like an annoyance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 124

Today, I received a package at work. Thinking it was something I ordered, I opened it in front of my coworkers. It was a gift from my grandmother: a giant pink, “I Love My Grandson” T-shirt. The worst part? They insisted I put it on and take a picture to send to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 308

Today, the director of the library was introducing me to the new HR person. She told the HR person that I'd been working here for 5 years. Actually, I've been working here for 19 years, and had been working here for 3 years before she got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 65

Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 87