Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Remove batteries? Unless...holy crap did you remove them?! I could see this being a new horror movie franchise. They’ve done possessed dolls, clowns, cars, ******* everything...but now we get to fear our own vibrators. *Coming this fall...this vibrator will make you SHUDDER* Good luck with your possessed vibrator, OP.
RichardPencil 32
On the contrary, your vibrator is top quality because it accurately emulates a man. If you don't use us when we're ready, we'll go off by ourselves.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
Marcella1016 32
Remove batteries? Unless...holy crap did you remove them?! I could see this being a new horror movie franchise. They’ve done possessed dolls, clowns, cars, ******* everything...but now we get to fear our own vibrators. *Coming this fall...this vibrator will make you SHUDDER* Good luck with your possessed vibrator, OP.
sarsuela 29
Sometimes you need a screwdriver to remove batteries. At least it was OP's friend who witnessed this and not mom or dad.
jfigley 5
Thats hilarious, I can't imagine a movie like that coming out
RichardPencil 32
On the contrary, your vibrator is top quality because it accurately emulates a man. If you don't use us when we're ready, we'll go off by ourselves.
Magoozala 17
I actually clicked on this posting just to see if you'd commented. Your comment is humorous, but, considering the subject matter, a bit tame.
HokieJ 10
When the dresser is a shaking, your legs are a quaking!
Chazzster 32
Brookstone has some of the best quality vibrators (they are still in business on line) - They call them “massagers”. Wherever you buy, quality is almost always worth spending more for.
AngelBaby666 12
well don't be embarrassed by that. it's a natural thing. my best friend and I got our first vibrators together