Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I got turned on by a knothole in a tree trunk because it looked a lot like a woman’s downstairs area. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, it's been so long since my wife has been interested in me intimately, I became aroused when a woman touched my arm while talking to me. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
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Top comments
randybryant799 21
And now we know why you're not getting laid. Downstairs area???
jkjorn 18
Shame on you OP for having such knotty thoughts!
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
If you do **** a tree, be discreet. You might get canceled by the #TreeToo movement!
jkjorn 18
Shame on you OP for having such knotty thoughts!
randybryant799 21
And now we know why you're not getting laid. Downstairs area???
diraven 15
I don't get it. What's so arousing about a basement? Unless it's a sex dungeon.