Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
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Top comments
SirEnigM0nk 22
Without knowing more, I vote for YLS. It sounds like you tried to guide your son along the right path. You can't blame yourself for his irresponsibility. While the frontal lobe (involved in decision-making and planning) is still developing at that age, he is still old enough to be accountable for his actions. Now that he's got 3 lives for which he's responsible, I hope he starts paying attention to guidance from you and others who offer it.
JackWood 21
Sometimes its the small victories that count.
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Comments (5)
JackWood 21
Sometimes its the small victories that count.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Without knowing more, I vote for YLS. It sounds like you tried to guide your son along the right path. You can't blame yourself for his irresponsibility. While the frontal lobe (involved in decision-making and planning) is still developing at that age, he is still old enough to be accountable for his actions. Now that he's got 3 lives for which he's responsible, I hope he starts paying attention to guidance from you and others who offer it.
mike3775 39
I told my kids about safe sex and guess what? My oldest got a girl pregnant just before he turned 15. The joys of kids
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Abstinence is rarely a favorable method of birth control. You tell a teenager not to do something, and they'll want to do it more. It sounds like you told him to use protection - for his own safety as well as his partner's. Obviously he didn't use any, because now he's got TWO problems - a pregnant girl and an STD. But I mean, since you did tell him to use protection and to be responsible, and he still didn't, that's 100% on him.