Today, I have so little faith in my future earning potential that I keep my clipped toe and fingernails as a nest egg. I heard that some weirdos on the internet actually pay money for those. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML
Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML
Today, I was clipping my nails. When I got to my toenail, the whole thing somehow ripped right out. I'm in agony. FML
Today, I tried cutting my own bangs to save money. When I was done, they were so crooked that my roommate thought I’d lost a bet. Now I have to go into work tomorrow looking like a rejected Beatles tribute act. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, I got so desperate for cash that I decided to start selling my used panties online. FML
Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML
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Top comments
Yummi_913 18
Uhm... you could just sell foot pics and used panties? It has a much larger earning potential than you'd get from the few weirdos who like toenails.
mekiswrite 21
You'd probably make more selling your used and unwashed underwear.
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Comments (5)
mekiswrite 21
You'd probably make more selling your used and unwashed underwear.
Yummi_913 18
Uhm... you could just sell foot pics and used panties? It has a much larger earning potential than you'd get from the few weirdos who like toenails.
sarahcroy20 12
I dont want to alarm you but that doesn't seem quite normal. Maybe you need some help?
RichardPencil 32
You should also pee in jars and poop in bags and freeze it. I wouldn't be surprised if there's a market for that. What is for sure is that no one will steal your lunch from the office fridge ever again.
coius 23
Imagine someone buying a poopsickle and then using it to stab and murder someone. Dna would suggest someone else is the culprit and would make an investigator rethink his career choice.
iraaa 3
there are 💀
RichardPencil 32
That's a hole new take on the infamous "poop knife."
iraaa 3
dude I heard they use it for black magic..🤐