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By madison77 - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, my engagement ring was seized by the police, and my fiancé was arrested on larceny charges. Both in the same visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 541

You deserved it 3 064

By StinkyCactus - 08/01/2010 06:23 - United States

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 4 587

StinkyCactus tells us more.

StinkyCactus 0

Monday 11 January 2010 2:13

"LOL U CANT HAS PET HEDGIE ITS EVIL/FAKE FAKE FAKE/WHO HAS PET HEDGEDOG NEWAYS?" Eat a dick. "Google." Seriously, do you people really think it's okay to just open your ignorant trap about every little thing you have a misinformed opinion about? Seriously, before you get all stupid on the internet, know what you're talking about. "I AM TEH HEDGEHAWG OWNUR GOD AND UR DOIN IT WRONG!" Yes, it was a mistake for her to get into the cat's litter, but other than that, she is very well taken care of and very happy. I have done a lot of research about the kind of hedgehog she is and how to take care of her, so rest assured, she is in good hands, so please, pull your head out of your ass. Again- know what you're talking about before you judge. "HOW I GETZ HOG? PLZ TELL MEEEEEEEEE" Google. Seriously! That's how I did. I heard people had them as pets, so, I started researching. I drove 3 hours to find a qualified breeder to pick up my baby hedgie, but only before I spent a good week reading literature and reading articles by owners and breeders about their health and what to expect. DO NOT go get a hedgie on a random whim- AGAIN- know what you're doing before taking on a pet, of any kind. If you think you're ready, and can legally own one, look up your local breeder and set it up. Thank you for everyone with pleasant comments and/or at least civil ones if you disagree with hedgehog ownership.

Road rage

By Broke - 28/05/2012 09:38 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 137

You deserved it 3 419

Sebummer

By ewwww - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 889

You deserved it 3 465

By n1a1t1h1a1n1 - 11/12/2012 07:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 549

You deserved it 3 411

By friedbutter - 28/10/2012 14:53 - Canada - Pickering

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 053

You deserved it 4 627

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 74 124

By loser - 03/01/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 501

You deserved it 67 693

By mydaughterisdisturbed - 12/08/2013 00:58 - United States - Huntingburg

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 083

You deserved it 5 866

By Shoes - 12/06/2009 05:33 - United States

Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 185

You deserved it 4 239

By excusemeprincess - 11/02/2013 17:08 - United States - Middle Island

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 797

You deserved it 4 265

excusemeprincess tells us more.

excusemeprincess 11

Tuesday 12 February 2013 23:40

I'm the person who posted this. I just forgot to log in. Anyway, I DID kick him in his deku nuts and walk out on him. Thanks for all your hilarious comments guys. :)

By brookenicolee29 - 26/01/2014 22:06 - United States - Clinton

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 248

You deserved it 55 190

brookenicolee29 tells us more.

brookenicolee29 27

Monday 27 January 2014 1:50

I changed my picture because o it(: And it was more of a kissy face.. Haha

By MrZhang - 23/06/2009 03:34 - Australia

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 433

You deserved it 26 541

By I_Hate_Cars - 15/04/2009 14:10 - United States

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 268

You deserved it 5 857

I_Hate_Cars tells us more.

I_Hate_Cars 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 7:11

To all, thanks for your concern. Don't worry, I'm fine, it was just a bad concussion when I hit the ground that knocked me out. I hope I don't disappoint anybody, but I am not going to sue. A few years in jail ought to be enough for the driver- it was a drunk. Luckily, there was a black and white across the street and got the driver in time. Again, thank you all for your concerns.