Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
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Top comments
jjames7543 13
At least Dad was being honest
Savra_fml 17
OPs Kid: "So, where do you come from Raul?" Raul: "From Madrid in Spain. How about you?" OPs Kid: "From my daddys penis"
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Comments (184)
jjames7543 13
At least Dad was being honest
sexxxysydney 14
He has to learn the truth someday, right?
KiddNYC1O 22
Teach me? ^
susannah365 8
I'd love to see how parents will respond when he starts educating other children
Damn_Hippster 11
He's a smart kid. You just know he's going to be a Sex-Ed teacher when he's older.
StoryOfTheYear 15
They're both right if they're talking about Jesus.
Feklfekl2222 32
Dad was right, mum was wrong.
chell1894 13
Well depending on your religion, both answer were true.
ihasbrains 10
They're both right if the baby is Jesus.
flagg1888 3
26. Maybe you got thumbed down cause that shit just wasn't funny. For me it had nothing to do with religion
boopityboppity 11
While I'm a fan of jokes as a general rule, Mr. Rocket, I didn't think that was funny. Perhaps that's why it's being thumbed down. Then again, maybe not.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah, think of it this way: we didn't bury you. You buried yourself.
SystemofaBlink41 27
No Mr. Rocket... How was that even related to Jesus?
tjv3 10
does daddy wear a wife beater shirt?
rockman130 0
mabey i thumbesd u down because i dont like the idea of a woman getting beat
mrpipp 0
You're all haters. 27=WIN
mrpipp 0
But it's so funny when they do cuz it's their own fault..... I SAID NO MAYO BITCH! ~whack!~
theaws0m3guy 4
Damn straight.
theaws0m3guy 4
Damn straight.
killerkiss92 8
Love your pikakitty...
brennan677 0
Who doesnt love the pika kitty
cinamonkoko 15
that kid is destined to become a genius
oneday_8_23 12
Hahaha
crosado531 0
Q
mufc4everch 2
lol
eatmyshortssss1 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well it IS from *******. Although I do believe your husband should have had more tact.
tri1sometime22 0
Hah yes it is! So right answer, but it was put in a wrong way for a 5 year old.
flamegrilled123 3
Unless of course op's son is jesus christ
japtch 15
Where did it say he was 5?
exleonhart 0
50~ is your face crooked?
effedml 5
#4's pic is the look on Daddy's face when he gave his son that answer.
DaBigMan 0
#8 will you marry me??
Naked_Communist 0
Wrong comment thread, BigMan. Maybe if you re-post she'll say yes.
kbaby91909 0
wow.
kriegs444 5
At least Daddy was honest.
Brattyninja 7
How old is he
baconstrips 12
The **** should he know 43
coNsperAZI 4
Yeah how dare u lie to ur kid about god
boofgall 16
OP deserves it for feeding her kid bs.
EnEl_Infierno 15
Well dad knows best.
josejimenez 0
Something a virgin would say
sporkman 0
Or someone who actually respects their father.. Douchebag
TherealMort 0
My son came from Lois. Don't tell Peter!
weepingangel_fml 7
How old was he?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I'm guessing like... 23, MAYBE 22, but that seems a little too old.
ohmandapants 17
How old WAS he? Is he dead?
habibiiiiiii 2
Lmao excellent parenting skills dad
sarahpenguiin 0
That's a good daddy