cj123
United States
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
TwiceDaily,Kids
United States
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML
migsman
United States
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
Sergeant Bri
Norwood, United States
Bitches, amirite?
Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML
Anonymous
Boone, United States
Sorry seems to be the harshest word
Today, my girlfriend has yelled at me multiple times for saying sorry too much. It's involuntary, due to me constantly being told I never do anything right growing up by my parents. She knows this, and is even then one who helped me realize this, and still yells at me for it. FML
kj1
Draper, United States
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
hopeless
Halifax, Canada
Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML
Julian
France
Fresh mints
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Anonymous
Atlanta, United States
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Top comments
imaginaryvoice 18
"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"
Epsilonyx 15
Next time you're in public, stop breathing and cause a scene. When she tells you to stop, sob uncontrollably and scream "ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED YOU FAT BITCH", then lay in the fetal position and urinate everywhere.
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Comments (184)
12vballchick12 5
sounds like its someones tim of the month? fyl indeed!
12vballchick12 5
*time
Stallion91 6
I love how you're in minus for the comment AND you're spelling correction lmao
Stallion91 6
I love how you're in minus for your comment AND your correction lmao
Stallion91 6
**** here they come
Damn_Hippster 11
OP, who do you think you are breathing in all that oxygen all the time, just so you can survive?
eyeIoveyou 4
maybe your girlfriend meant that you breathe loudly? c'mon, haven't we all sat in front of that kid during class who you think is annoying for breathing so heavily, even if they can't help it. :3
Renesaga 8
YDI for breathing too much. Maybe OP is a mouth-breather, though. I can see how hearing that constantly would irritate her.
12vballchick12 5
Haha well I'm sorry! FML commenters expect so much from people! ;)
jillianmathers12 13
Kate Gossiln is your girlfriend???
themacuser 0
I breathe a lot and nobody ever said it was annoying. But then again, I am a very experienced breather.
tatababe 1
Lol the solution is to ask her if she wants you to stop breathing
bamagrl410 31
108 - You mean like actually having a brain? Yea I guess that is too much to expect out of people these days...
12vballchick12 5
Gosh 123 no need to be so harsh! I was just kidding... but if your in a bad mood its ok we all have those days! ;)
SW500 13
Why are you continuing?
SnowWitney 17
Subtle assassination attempt... kind of. No? Okay. :(
ohmandapants 17
#1 people like you annoy the **** out of me. "oh she's in a bad mood she must be pmsing". No, you know what? Sometimes we're just justifiably/unjustifiably in a bad mood. Just like men are sometimes in a bad mood.
mfazi456 7
^ you're definatly on your period
ohmandapants 17
^ way to be an instigator. You're a moron.
mfazi456 7
Chill it was a joke. Btw no one said anything about her being on her period. Your comment was just a pointless rage
iamamale 15
*your
imaginaryvoice 18
"I'm so sick of you breathing all the time!! Just stop, that's all I ask! Just do this one thing for me and stop breathing!"
bertoelmexicano 6
For either one of you in the picture I'd do anything :) ummmm that's really creepy. Here come the red negative numbers :(
Stallion91 6
Mmmmm red negative numbers. Arghhhhhhh
ikickgingers 15
When the 31 one year old talks about doing anything for the 17 year old girl... Yeah, please expect thumbs down...
akayc32 0
13, would you boil and eat puppies or babies? Or sever your penis via paper cut?
flockz 20
anything? ok here's a ten foot spiked rod. there's your ass. go.
bertoelmexicano 6
17- Who says im 31? I'll be turning 31 in 14 years.
DocBastard 40
Oh god...OH GOD. I feel utterly disgusting after reading bertoelmexicano's comment. Why ******* comment on some girl's picture here? It's nothing but creepy. Go shadow some girls at the mall if you're so desperate. Ugh...I need a shower.
nixter5 18
Or place him in a dark room and make him listen to Friday by Rebecca Black on repeat with a 10 foot spiked rod up his ass.
perdix 31
Doc, I agree. That's what the PM system is for! Do your creepy shit in private -- it just might work ;)
flockz 20
i think berto started breathing a little too hard when he saw her picture.
reaganomics 6
#13 I picture you with a white van and a mustache on Dateline NBC
imaginaryvoice 18
You'd do anything? Nice! Now **** off.
ikickgingers 15
31... 12... Whatever your real age is... Living in your moms basement. Trolling fml for victims...
zombicidal 11
he's the type of guy who breaks into girls houses and chokes himself while masturbating and no one finds out until they find him with a belt around his neck and no pulse
monkeysareyummy 0
Haha OP to piss her off you should start breathing like Darth Vadar, "hoooo purrrr.. Hoooooo purrrr"
Lucidium 0
Shut up bieber hair.
MelTheGreat 23
Break up with her. Girls fight over anything when they are sick of you.
KiddNYC1O 22
Heard from the very own horse's mouth.
_krystallynn_ 11
kiddNYC10- your an ass. stfu
malfoyfreak 3
Yell at her for yelling too much.
Stallion91 6
I only miss you when im breathing, lol jk, get ****** you camel
uFayel 6
I think she means something...
HogwartsDropout7 0
Breathe harder & more frequently & see what happens.
flockz 20
just don't look at any small children when you do that.
ikickgingers 15
Is that not appropriate? Shit. I've been doing this all wrong.
HogwartsDropout7 0
Or teenage girls.
nixter5 18
Or elderly people on oxygen support.
Bumblebee4ever21 0
Lol! ......or asthmatic people..
princess151617 4
I would loss it if someone did the opposite of what I said. I tell ppl to breath quieter alllll the time,
blondebrunette11 4
Fake die.. See what happens.
every1luvsboners 11
Fake die? A fake die is illegal and very hard to construct without it being visible to the naked eye. You step into a casino with one of those you better be careful.
blondebrunette11 4
Dammit, You got me.
bobbycorwen 5
40 - I read that over and over again... I finally got it.
crazyretard101 3
What a bitch, flush the toilett when she's showering :)
Llamacod 11
Yeah that would be like totally awesome, unless you have, you know, modern plumbing then it would just be a waste of water.
finished 10
10 you're an evil, evil person :)
philly_A7X 6
10 in some newer house the lines are different so it would do anything but then again I might work for them
porcelainkisses 5
You don't have to put up with that, dump her!
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
Dumping everyone because of the smallest things does not fix everything..